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hitbyatruck (original poster member #23769) posted at 1:36 AM on Monday, March 17th, 2014
One moment I am hopeful about my future. The next I am 100% positive that I will never be happy again, EVER.
I am SURE that I will never find myself in a real loving relationship. I know, I know....love yourself, I shouldn't NEED a man in my life.
I want a man in my life eventually. I want to be a for real happy couple, damn it. I think I will always feel a void unless I am part of a couple.
I have been doing so much reading about learning to be OK with just me. I accept that I need to go through the process of grieving my marriage ad finding myself once again. BUT I so want the married life that I always thought I would have.
And then I am back to hopeful, even looking fwd to no rug sweeping dealing with my own issues. AND then BAM right back into the pit of despair.
Married 1998. 2 kids. First discovery 3/2009. Multiple affairs, porn addiction. one failed attempt at R. Nested for over a year. Divorce final 8/2015. XH is now married. I am engaged!
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 3:26 AM on Monday, March 17th, 2014
This is so normal honey. You'll swing back and forth but keep telling that negative voice that it's wrong, you WILL love again, first and foremost yourself, and your family, and your friends, and the things you do that make you happy.
It will keep getting better. The dips on the roller coaster are part of the process but believe in your ability to heal and in the bright, happy future that is waiting for you. Hang on to that belief and know that it is only doubt and fear talking when you think you will never be happy again. The truth is that you are going to be joyful beyond measure once you come through this. It's not a fun ride but keep your seatbelt buckled, be kind to yourself, and keep your eyes on the future and all the things you're going to do with it.
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 3:32 AM on Monday, March 17th, 2014
It is normal. Since my divorce, I have known great joy. My life is so much different than I ever thought it would be, but it's good.
That's not to say that I haven't also known great pain, but at least I'm living a realistic life.
It will get better.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
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