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Off Topic :
Excited for my son

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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 3:55 PM on Monday, March 17th, 2014

Some of you may remember my posts about my son and a possible learning issue and my concerns about possible dyslexia. I've been in contact with a local university regarding his testing. We met last week and I've just scheduled his appointment in early April for his testing.

I'm so excited for him. He's not nervous at all. We are both anxious to find out why he's been struggling for so long. If we find out he doesn't have learning issues and it's just him not trying hard enough we can work with that, but I don't want to just assume that when there could possibly be a different issue.

YAY!!

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6725882
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StrongerOne ( member #36915) posted at 4:37 PM on Monday, March 17th, 2014

Good luck! I hope they are able to figure out what's going on and what can be done to help him learn. You're doing a great job if he is not nervous about it!

DDay Feb 2011.
In R.

posts: 1020   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2012
id 6725927
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 5:02 PM on Monday, March 17th, 2014

That's great news. I hope you learn something to be able to help him out.

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6725967
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:08 PM on Monday, March 17th, 2014

Yay!!!

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6725980
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 5:26 PM on Monday, March 17th, 2014

Wonderful update!! I am so happy for him. Please keep us posted.

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6726000
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:42 PM on Monday, March 17th, 2014

Ohhh what a relief! I'm so glad that you are finally going to get to do this!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6726019
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 5:43 PM on Monday, March 17th, 2014

Yipee.

So glad you have pushed this. So many kids out there have parents that won't go to bat for them, and they struggle their whole lives.

I hope you get answers.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6726020
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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 1:47 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

Thank you all for the support. I will definitely keep everyone updated. It's such a relief to have finally found someone that will listen to my concerns. I just want him to do well in school like I know he can. It breaks my heart to watch him struggle.

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6726590
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monarchwings ( member #39891) posted at 2:54 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

I am excited for you both too. My sister did the same thing. She was able to take the independent report to the school and say now that we know what we are facing, I expect you to create a plan of action of how you are going to help my son. Its a very powerful tool.... Great job Mom! You are awesome.

posts: 213   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013
id 6726659
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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 11:33 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

That's the plan. At the end of the testing we'll receive a fifteen page report with recommendations that I'm going to take to the school. Hopefully they'll work with us.

Thank you so much

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6726917
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 4:21 PM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

SD,

I am not sure what state you are in....but....I went through this. I was going the "normal channels" to have DS tested when he was younger. A teacher pulled me aside and off the record said the school will drag their feet and DS will continue to suffer. She said if I could afford it, I could have the testing done privately and the school HAS to abide by the findings.

I did just that. He was tested at Penn State and dx with multi-processing disorder. Easy way to explain it, is if a problem has six-steps to solve it....he get boggled down with the steps and you lose him. He can't process multiple phases all at once.

Good news was it made so much sense with his struggles and meltdowns. Bad news was the school "didn't have any program to deal with this sort of disorder...."

Sighhhhhhh

Anyway - just wanted to let you know that I think the school has to abide by what you find in the report (unless that varies state to state).

posts: 6985   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 6727224
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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 4:43 PM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

Thanks EvenKeel,

I've been fighting with the school system for years. I finally got fed up and when I found out about the university I didn't hesitate to contact them. My son's doctor suggested private testing, but she said it could run upwards of $2000. Luckily for us (and my unemployment - blessing in disguise) we feel into the $500 bracket

The clinician I spoke with said we will receive a fifteen page document for the school, but she did say that the school doesn't have to follow their recommendations. So I think you're right, it's a state by state thing. I really hope my school system will work with him. He's already in remedial math and reading.

Once his testing is done I plan on setting up a meeting with his teachers and principal and hopefully we can get somewhere.

I feel bad watching him struggle and I get frustrated (not at him) because I don't what/if there's something wrong and how I can change the way I give him help so that he understands it better. Ugh...

How does your son get through his classes?

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6727248
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Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 4:48 PM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

That's great news honey!!

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

posts: 210060   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2002
id 6727253
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 simplydevastated (original poster member #25001) posted at 5:58 PM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

Thank you DS

Now I just need help getting my husband on board with this. He doesn't think there's anything wrong and he was not happy (read pissed) about spending the money.

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6727338
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 9:05 PM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

That was how it was here....sliding scale for payments.

One of the biggest things for me was being able to understand the issue. Some nights he could do homework....other nights it was like pulling teeth (crying...me - him - or both).

I had a counselor also look at the results of the testing for help. He said if there was a day at school where DS had to do lots of multiple processing.....he would have nothing left to give at home (for homework). Those were the nights of mega homework he77. He said if he had a school day that did not require a lot of step-by-step procedures, then he would have the energy to do the homework that night.

That made sense. I was able to be patient because I know understood why he could just zip through it one night and the next night not.

That in itself was a HUGE step for us.

He also is severely color-blind which we did not know in the earlier academic years. Once the teachers found out, they said it explained a lot since many things are color-coded in elementary. The teacher said she couldn't understand why some days she would call on him to read and he would zip through it.....other days he just stared at the page with no response. HERE those days the text was color on color (like blue paper with blue font). DS couldn't see the variance in the blues so he couldn't see any words.

Good news is even if your school won't/can't help, the university should have avenues for you to persue independently. Does your area have any sort of learning centers (ie Sylvan, etc)? Extra stuff like that might help (depending on what his issue is). It is pricey but I remember those younger years and I would of done anything for help.

DS still struggles with school but as he got older, it is better because he can convey the issue (verus melting down and hiding in the closet). He is a junior this year and his worst classes are still anything that is multiple processing (think algebra where stuff builds in steps).

I don't want to wish life away, but I will be glad when he graduates. LOL

posts: 6985   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 6727655
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Wodnships ( member #42750) posted at 9:15 PM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

In California not only does the school have to abide by the results, but if they don't test your child before you get the testing done they have to reimburse you for the cost.

I don't have a whole lot to add here, but I'm severely dyslexic. We found out when I was in the third grade and couldn't read a 1st grade reader. Today I'm fairly successful. I work as an IT Project Manger for a large casino. The process of finding out is scary and intimidating, but it's also the best thing that ever happened to me.

If you or your son ever need to talk to someone who's been through it please PM me any time. No matter what it is. Books that have helped, techniques that have helped, or even just need a better understanding. I'm here.

PS My niece was recently tested and the word "dyslexia" isn't as widely used any more. Call it what you will it doesn't change what it is.

[This message edited by Wodnships at 3:16 PM, March 18th (Tuesday)]

me: BH 37
Her: WW 29

Married 6 years. Dating 10. Living together 8.

If a man took his time on earth
to prove be for he died
what on man's life could be worth
I wonder what would happen to the world

- Harry Chapin

posts: 1154   ·   registered: Mar. 12th, 2014   ·   location: California
id 6727676
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