My WH and I were sitting at home when one of his mates turned up in a terrible state. He looked at my husband and said "I need your help, I've made a terrible mistake, I cheated on B" and then started to tell us all of the usual WS justifications, "B was more into the kids than she was into me, I was lonely, I felt neglected, blah blah blah... 
My husband sat him down, looked him in the eye, and said "Mate, you didn't make a mistake, you made a choice, and it was a really shitty one. That crap you just told me is just that. Crap. You, for whatever reason, tore B's heart to shreds, you disrespected her, you decimated her, and you feel bad. You should, you did a really shitty thing. I'll help you, but you have a shit-ton of work to do, and there's no quick fix, trust me, I tried. There's a website that helps us, its called SI. I'll get it up, and I want you to read it, and keep reading it..."
There was plenty more, including arguments from the friend, and in the end, hubby turned around and said "Ok, whatever, Mr Fog". I have to admit, I had a bit of a laugh at that one!
Just quietly, I was astounded by what hubby said, he used to be so non-confrontational, it's huge that in the last few months he has said what he thinks, and no longer hides from what he feels.
So, Mr Allornothing, here's to you, and to earning your 'f'!
