This Topic is Archived
HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 2:50 AM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
DS15, as I've shared here, has really struggled this year in school. I firmly believe his struggle has been largely due to the horrific car crash that he and JM witnessed in September, and him pretty much watching a 21 year old kid die in front of him. The crash was caused by a DUI at 930 am on a Saturday.
Well, he had to do a project for health class this week, that involved creating and filming a 1-2 minute PSA. They were allowed to choose the topic, and he chose Designated Driver. While we were discussing it, I suggested that he might consider using his experience as part of his PSA.
He played it for me today, and it was really amazing. And he talked about seeing that wreck, watching this boy die, and how senseless and stupid it was. How using a designated driver could have resulted in no wreck, those 2 boys being able to continue in their lives, our family not being changed forever.
I'm so proud of him for using something that was so traumatic and awful for him and making something really good. And he got a 93 on the project! 
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
UnexpectedSong ( member #21761) posted at 4:45 AM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
That is fantastic. I hope expressing his feelings will help him heal further.
I remember your post on that day - how they called you up grab your stuff.
WW(SA)
"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Boris Becker
Lucky2HaveMe ( member #13333) posted at 3:41 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
Sounds like it was very therapeutic for him. 
Has he had any kind of counseling at all? That's heavy stuff to deal with. When I was 22 I witnessed a motorcycle/truck accident. It was ugly and so tramatic.
Hugs to him.
Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:09 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
Awesome!!! but like the Kittening post, this one is useless without seeing the PSA.
We would love to see it, if you feel safe in sharing it.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 5:34 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
Has he had any kind of counseling at all?
Yes, we got him in to see the same counselor he saw after expressing suicidal thoughts surrounding our 2nd S. She's also my IC and is awesome!!!
Awesome!!! but like the Kittening post, this one is useless without seeing the PSA.
We would love to see it, if you feel safe in sharing it.
I agree. 
I am going to ask him how he feels about me sharing it, then I have to figure out how to get it off his ipad.
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:41 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
That's so awesome!
I'm positive that this will be a very healing step for him, too. I just read this quote in another thread today:
pain that’s not transformed will be transmitted
... and I think there's so much truth to this. Your son found a way to turn the situation into something educational and helpful. That's huge.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 6:36 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
That is so awesome, and I think it is great that you suggested that he do this.
Processing things like this can be hard, and it is great that he has two awesome parents that he can count on to help him.
Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 7:35 PM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
...lemon meringue pie out of lemons?
I'm really sorry the accident happened and that JM and your son saw it, but this is such a great response, especially from a 15 year old.
Hugs to your son.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
positively4thst ( member #23998) posted at 5:15 AM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014
A 93???!!! Seriously?! Fire that teacher!
HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 5:42 PM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014
A 93???!!! Seriously?! Fire that teacher!
Well, she had a pretty specific rubric and he was supposed to include music and didn't. Personally, I think the clip was more effective without music, but I wasn't the one who made the assignment, so I guess my vote doesn't really matter.
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
This Topic is Archived
