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Notsignificant (original poster new member #43098) posted at 4:58 AM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
I'm not going to try and minimize it. I do eat more than I should and I could stand to loose about 50 pounds. I'm not proud of myself. Since the affair (my husband took a ride on the village bicycle) I find myself eating to self sooth. Eating to feel. Eating late at night to keep my mind from thinking. The crunching of chips helps drown out my thoughts. I have gained about 4 pounds since I found out. That's not good and I refuse to let it continue. I have heard good things about OA but really it's not big here. I found one church that holds meetings but I don't know if they do anymore (this is website hours). I'm going to call and keep digging until I find someone. Anyone else go to OA? Really struggling with self control and portions when it comes to food. And I hate it.
Me-32
Him-36
Married-6 years
DS-5
Found out-4/10/14 when a bladder infection appeared out of nowhere.
nolight ( member #32785) posted at 6:32 AM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
I haven't tried them but maybe I should, I have bulemia.
I'm pretty good these days as long as I can restrict myself to a 1000 calorie limit and workout I feel "safe" and don't binge or purge.
Other days, like today, something happens to upset me or the urge gets too great and I binge again. I just ate Popeyes takeaway and am sitting here trying to convince myself that accepting this bump is fixable with a bit of hard work and that I don't need I throw it up. It's a losing battle with me though :(
We make our own fortunes and call them fate, and what better excuse to choose a path then to insist it's our destiny.
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 6:33 AM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
I have thought about OA in the past--I was anorexic, then binge ate, for years and the cycle was hard to stop. In the middle of it, gosh, I felt so helpless to control myself. It did pass and I hope you have compassion for your struggle right now. Try OA but also please don't denigrate yourself for your bad eating habits or weight. Lord knows it is hard and it doesn't affect who you truly are. You do deserve to feel control in your eating instead of compulsion but don't let this be about how you look--it should only really be about how you feel.
(((((Hugs)))))
soloney ( member #42621) posted at 6:41 AM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
I know how you feel since DDay 1 year I have gained 12 pounds. Not only did his A make me feel self conscious now my weight gain does.
I have not tried OA. I did however join a gym and have been going regularly. My away says I am in a much better mood after working out. It is a slow process. Best of luck to you.
[This message edited by soloney at 12:42 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)]
undertherug ( member #41580) posted at 1:00 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
I had a friend years ago who went to OA and found it helpful. You might give it a try and see what you think.
TheBestMe ( member #39476) posted at 1:11 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Hi and hugs...
I have done OA. It is a 12 step program for people with food addiction. The program works on the same principles as AA.
I am a food addict. Food has been my coping mechanism as far back as I can remember. During the height my H's LTA my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Food no longer soothed me and I transitioned to alcohol in addition to the food. My weight ballooned. I was in such despair, that the only thing that comforted me
wasThe crunching of chips helps drown out my thoughts
About 4 years ago I began IC and this past December entered in patient detox. Next week I complete my addiction therapy course.
My saving grace has been IC. Discovering why I choose food as my drug of choice and then learning better coping skills has given me my life back.
This is not an easy process. It is an everyday struggle, but I now have the tools to assist me in making better and or alternative choices.
You can always journal your feelings. Writing things out has been cathartic and healing. There is a forum for healthy living in the I Can Relate Section. You will find additional support there.
All the best to you.
ME Doing Better
WH Trying As Best He Can
Married 24 years
Status: Working towards friendship
D Day #1 - 2007 My gut told me
D Day #2 - 2010 His D told me
D Day #3 - 1/11/2013 OW Confirmed
LTA 7 years
Both feet pointed forward; positive
justinpaintoday ( member #42858) posted at 1:12 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Been there. OA is great. Just like AA but with food.
I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:24 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Just wanted to acknowledge how brutually honest SI always is to help others by sharing their own struggles. Doesn't matter what the subject is or how difficult the process.
I just wanted to thank you guys for sharing.
Sorry NS - didn't mean to thread-jack....I am just in awe of the sharing in the responses you received.
Back to you 
... I think it is worth giving it a try. Different things work for different people so there is no harm in checking it out. Did you check to see if they have any sort of online forum? That might be tremendous in helping you get familiar with their program from people that are living it. I know WW has forums so I would guess OA would too?
Good luck and kudos for you to recognize the importance of taking care of you during such a tramatic time.
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