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painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 12:25 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Terrible day yesterday.
It began with utter elation as my son, (after a year of homelessness) finally got the call that an apartment had suddenly come available in the subsidized housing unit where his name has been on the list for a year (specifically for the mentally ill).
He could be in it in less than a month. So he ran around with joy, pulling together the documents he needed, (one has to redo and update a 30 page application after having already done it once 
) and I was busting my ass trying to help him.
Then he gets a call from the apt mgr that she had run the background check, and a charge that had been dropped a year ago (when he had attempted a suicide by cop) had shown up on the background check, and that she would have to reject his application. I spoke to the solicitors office and asked if they would talk to this lady and explain all this to her, and they agreed. She would not budge. Said that she would send us the paperwork on the appeals process, and we would have to deal with her regional mgr from here on out. A year on the waiting list all for nothing now. I am disgusted. Not with her, but with this MOTHER FUCKING worthless lawyer for never explaining to DS that the charge would have to be expunged to keep it from showing up on a background check. Isn't that what lawyers are FOR??????
So now, here, just when DS has finally been getting better, taking his medicine, trying to work a little bit, he gets kicked in the teeth again.
WHY why why??????
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 1:22 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
I'm so sorry PPGA. ((Hugs))
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 1:30 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Sending strength to you and DS.
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
sad12008 ( member #18179) posted at 1:41 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
(((ppga & DS)))
That is just sickening. Worse, as I understand how it can truly be sickening in the primary sense when you're dealing with mental health issues. I'm so sorry, and I can surely understand your rage toward the damn lawyer. I'd also be p*ssed at the housing people, for being so bureaucratic and inflexible.
Is having the charge expunged an option at this point?
I'm just really sorry, ppga...you and your DS have been through enough.
[This message edited by sad12008 at 7:42 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)]
You can't fill a cup with no bottom.
painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 2:05 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Is having the charge expunged an option at this point?
Oh yes, and we are working on that right now. But it could take as long as 14 weeks, and his name is put back down to the bottom of the list until the expungement is complete and the appeals process is complete. And then, of course, there is no guarantee that the appeal with go through.
So, even if the appeal is accepted, it could be at least another year or more before his name would come up again, and then the entire process would have to be repeated. This is such bullshit, and so very depressing. And on top of all this, I have to pretend to be positive and hopeful for my son's sake.
I know I've said this many times here before, but honestly I really don't know how any of us keep going. Life keeps kicking us in the teeth. Does this hell ever end?
[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 8:06 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)]
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 2:28 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
(((((PPG)))))
Just reading this breaks my heart for you all...I'm so sorry that yet another thing has kicked you down 
I know you're strong and I know you'll push through even if it does feel impossible right now. Hang in there.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 3:00 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Thanks DS. I just talked to my BFF, and cried on her shoulder for a while. I feel a tad better.
I wish some one in the legal community would respond to this. Is this something I should report this lawyer to the Bar for? He was and is a horrible lawyer; there are so many other issues we had with this lawyer, and last year when I finally googled the bastard, when I found out how many other reports had been made on him, I was horrified. Truly a piece of work. 
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
abbycadabby ( member #27428) posted at 3:10 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
(((PPGA and DS)))
Re: reporting the atty to the Bar. It's not going to change what your son is currently going through, but it might prevent someone else from experiencing the same situation. I'm not a legal professional and this is not legal advice, but I just understand your need to do something.
[This message edited by abbycadabby at 9:12 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)]
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 3:17 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 7:33 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
So sorry this is happening to you son.
However -- just FYI, the legal process to expunge will also show up in a background check. So this is often money wasted to obtain it. It's really better to be upfront on any application (housing, employment, etc) and have supporting documents to show a charge was dropped and the person cleared.
"Because I deserve better"
painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 10:48 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
Dear God we needed a miracle, and we may have just received one! Y'all must have been praying for us!!!!
The regional Mgr with Mental Health America just contacted me and said that if the Solicitors office can provide them with documentation that the charge was dismissed "Nolle Prosequi" (do not prosecute) they will move forward with processing DS's application, SO HE DOES NOT have to move to the end of the list!!!!!
Thank you Jesus!!!!
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:31 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
My thoughts and hopes are with you and your son.
(((ppga & son)))
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 11:33 PM on Wednesday, May 7th, 2014
That is wonderful news, ppga! 
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 2:14 AM on Thursday, May 8th, 2014
That is great news! I work in criminal justice, and nowadays, a "true" expunction is very difficult to accomplish. There are just so many electronic records bought and sold now that true compliance is almost impossible.
Glad things are moving forward again.
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
abbycadabby ( member #27428) posted at 2:17 PM on Thursday, May 8th, 2014
YAY!!!! This is awesome news!
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 2:23 PM on Thursday, May 8th, 2014
That is great news PPGA. I hope it all comes together and he is able to move in and move forward. I suggest that you still file the paperwork to get the expungement (?) so that this can be off his record as completely as possible knowing that noting is ever totally gone from our information based society. At least it can be removed from the official legal records/
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 10:27 PM on Thursday, May 8th, 2014
Great news on the update!!!
I'm sorry that DS's lawyer has been so useless
I'm sending all of you more strength and positive thoughts. I hope that this continues to go your way.
((((ppga & DS))))
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 12:27 AM on Friday, May 9th, 2014
Sending prayers that this works out for your son.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 12:30 AM on Friday, May 9th, 2014
Wonderful update! I've been rooting for you and your son. Sending mojo, strength, and all good things.
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 4:54 AM on Friday, May 9th, 2014
"Because I deserve better"
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