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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

New Beginnings :
Still Struggle

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 HurtHubby (original poster member #8736) posted at 1:30 AM on Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

Well, it has been years since I have been here but it is one place I feel safe.

I still struggle holding relationships together. Everything is still a red flag to me and I feel helpless. I fall in love so quickly looking for comfort then panic sets in.

Therapy has helped but I have so far to go.

Jut want others to know it can remain a struggle for years after and please do not beat yourself up if you slip up.

My only regret is the people I have hurt along the way.

Thanks for letting me express myself for a bit and best of luck to all of the survivors here.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord say, "Who shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here I am. Send me."

posts: 528   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2005   ·   location: Crossville, TN
id 6807137
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InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 7:07 AM on Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

Thanks for posting. I think I am in a relationship with signs of health but I also feel the alarm bells go off when we have a disagreement. I can go from love and comfort to fear quickly. I do have a foundation of trust so I think that keeps me from being reactive and bouncing off the walls.

You are not helpless. You can get clear on your needs in relationships, practice communicating them in a respectful way, observing the response and deciding to stay or leave if the actions and words together do not meet your needs. I imagine your counselor a are helping you with that. I had to see therapists, do group therapy and later a relationship coach to get myself ona healthier path.

You are worth doing this important work. It will also have a positive effect on others as you progress. Good luck!

BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

posts: 6688   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2008   ·   location: Rural California
id 6807382
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 3:20 PM on Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

(((((HurtHubby))))

Just want others to know it can remain a struggle for years after and please do not beat yourself up if you slip up.

Amen! It's a journey; you will get there!

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6807726
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