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MandMs (original poster member #41740) posted at 4:11 PM on Sunday, May 25th, 2014
I just had to share this funny exchange my H and I had last night after getting it on.
He made a comment about how quickly he got "excited" (trying not to be too graphic here..
) And I agreed how awesome and ummm… hard he was. The he made a comment about how he's had trouble getting it up in the past and I'm like, really? I don't remember that ever being an issue… and he's like, well it was when I was with the other women… !!!! My response? " It sounds like your body was trying to tell you something honey...
" He agreed…
Then we moved on, it didn't become a huge convo. about the A's or anything dramatic. Just a passing comment… but so interesting! He's alluded to having problems with ED with other women (never had a problem with me though..hmmmm….
) but I guess I didn't realize it was that much of a recurring issue until last night.
Ha!! Maybe his broken mind was ok with betraying me but at least there was one part of his body that was not on board.
Knowing this is oddly comforting to me.
BS 39
fWH 38
DDs 19,16,11
Reconciled!
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:22 PM on Sunday, May 25th, 2014
I think you nailed it.
A couple of decades ago, IIRC, I saw a report of a study on sex after heart attacks. The study indicated M sex was beneficial. Extra-M sex was harmful.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Tearsoflove ( member #8271) posted at 7:19 AM on Monday, May 26th, 2014
My husband had major issues with ED with the other women. He had told me he had issues with them but I didn't believe it until the second OW's husband asked me if my husband had ED problems because she had complained that he couldn't keep an erection with her. I told him the only time in our entire marriage that my husband had issues was when he was lying to me about cheating. As soon as the truth was out, he was back in business. Guilt is a funny little trouble maker for some people.
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson
sunvalley ( member #42952) posted at 8:01 AM on Monday, May 26th, 2014
My H had ED issues with OW as well. They were much older and he wasnt attracted to them. For whatever reason it takes a bit of the sting away to know that there was nothing sexually they provided that I couldnt and even better yet, he had issues doing it. Ill take whatever little morsel of bringing thr As back into the negative and non-rewarding light they deserve. I think us BSs have been put through far too many mind movies and misconceptions about how the As were in our heads..a bit of reality helps us realize it wasnt anywhere near the worst cse scenarios we allowed ourselves to play out in our heads after Dday. I feel like you cant change the past, but anything that can take away a little bit of the impact or that you can even find humour in does help. My H faked migraines and even finishing sometimes...that part hardly sounds fun does it?
Dday July 2013
Me: BW mid 30s
Him: WH mid 30s
4PAs came from multiple onlines
Possible SA
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