This Topic is Archived
CantSeeInTheDark (original poster member #43231) posted at 7:23 AM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
Me 35y
Him 48y
1 Awesome son 3y
DD1 May 2013
DD2 April 2014
Currently wondering how someone who vowed so much, can care so little
saveus ( member #43251) posted at 7:36 AM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
As you posted in my thread only days ago, you too have been heard. Sending you strength (((CSITD)))
On D-Day 1:-
Me: BS/38
Her: WS/37
Together: 15 years
Married: 6 years 9 months
1 amazing little boy, 5, the love of our lives
D-Day 1: 14/4/2014 (EA/one night PA)
D-Day 2: 30/4/2014 (sexting/PA longer & ongoing)
D-Day 3: 4/5/2014 (earlier PA
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 11:39 AM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
I'm so very sorry CSITD. Does this mean you gave WH the D papers?
More importantly how are you doing? I know this entire process has been very hard on you. Know this, you are not alone CSITD. We are here for you. When you feel up to it let us know how you are doing. Worried about you. I will be thinking of you today.
Sending you strength and courage to get you through.
yop
[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 5:40 AM, June 5th (Thursday)]
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
OakStreet ( member #41193) posted at 11:49 AM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
((CSITD))
I'm thinking about you too!
Me: 60, WH 67
Married: 23 years
DS 21, 2 adult stepdaughters
DDay: Oct. 14, 2013
Divorced Jan. 2016
NeverAgain2013 ( member #38121) posted at 1:29 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
Understood.
For what it's worth, I think you've made a very, very, very wise decision.
In time, you'll see that too.
Sending strength.
Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 10:01 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
Cant - I hope you have or are finding the light.
You are an amazing person, who deserves so much more in life.
We are here, (((and strength)))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 10:34 PM on Thursday, June 5th, 2014
(((hugs)))
Hold on to your son. Hold on to knowing that you deserve honesty and truth.
One step. One day at a time.
We are here for you.
Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 8:03 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
(((hugs))) Just keep breathing. You will get through this. You will be happy again. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
seethelight ( member #43513) posted at 8:28 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
I can't find any words
Me neither, but I and likely all the other posters know how you feel.
Sending hugs your way.
“If two people truly have feelings for one another then they don’t have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit
Raspberry ( member #42853) posted at 11:16 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
Thinking of you too. I literally just hung up with a divorce attorney because I'm going to end it too. Never ever wanted this but I cant keep living this way.
In time, you and I will realize its for the best. Hugs
krsplat ( member #43242) posted at 11:17 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
((CSITD)) I have no words for you either, but I'm sending you strength and courage. We're here for you.
Me & WH: 50+, married 23 years, 4 kids, now D
DDay: 3/5/14, 7 yr LTA plus multiple ONS
Conclusion: Some things are just too broken to be fixed.
HonoringVows ( member #41043) posted at 11:52 PM on Friday, June 6th, 2014
I always said it would be over too if anything like this happened. But I have held on for 4 years since finding out about his ONS with an "escort" (hooker, walking disease carrier, prostitute)...all the same in my book! We did find each other and love again, because I forgave. But then found out recently he called escorts again (he says just called them). I don't believe him. I want to...but can't and he won't give me access to the phone bill. I learned to live with him viewing porn, but it just evolved into perhaps wanting something more....like a gateway drug. Are your husband's incidents ONS or LTA? I think there is a difference... Good luck...have you tried counseling? I am not sure what I am going to do. Our youngest son just graduated last night...My incentive to hold our marriage together is not as strong now that our 3 kids are adults now. He says he wants to do counseling...we'll see where that leads us. I do believe in forgiveness...and I do believe in trying to work through the good, bad and ugly, but damn...one can only take so much! Hope you try all avenues before giving up on your marriage....I am trying to....
Me: 48
WH: 59
Married Almost 23 years
3 adult children: 26, 22, 20
DD: Don't know exact date but about 5 years ago.
Who knows how many I don't know about!
I forgive too easily...for the sake of the family. Tired of pretending!
CantSeeInTheDark (original poster member #43231) posted at 6:47 AM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
I can't do this anymore.
I'm sorry.
Me 35y
Him 48y
1 Awesome son 3y
DD1 May 2013
DD2 April 2014
Currently wondering how someone who vowed so much, can care so little
betrayedpregnant ( member #43304) posted at 7:05 AM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
yearsofpain25 ( member #42012) posted at 10:44 AM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
Hope you are alright CSITD. Sending you strength courage and peace.
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
annb ( member #22386) posted at 10:54 AM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
CSITD, yes, you can do this. Yes, it is painful, yes you are devastated, but YES you do have a young child who needs you now more than ever.
You need to do the best you can to pull yourself together for the sake of your child. He does not deserve this and needs a stable parent who have his best interests at heart....
Lean on us, please lean on trusted family members or friends, I am not familiar with your story, but you WILL get through this!
Visit the divorce/separation forum and seek advice from members there. They have lived the same pain. They understand. They will guide you through this.
Don't give up, you have soooo much life left!
[This message edited by annb at 4:55 AM, June 12th (Thursday)]
saveus ( member #43251) posted at 12:30 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
You CAN do this, I have faith in you!!
((((CSITD))))
On D-Day 1:-
Me: BS/38
Her: WS/37
Together: 15 years
Married: 6 years 9 months
1 amazing little boy, 5, the love of our lives
D-Day 1: 14/4/2014 (EA/one night PA)
D-Day 2: 30/4/2014 (sexting/PA longer & ongoing)
D-Day 3: 4/5/2014 (earlier PA
shiftingsand ( member #43656) posted at 1:27 PM on Thursday, June 12th, 2014
You CAN DO THIS! It's ok to acknowledge that your soul has been rocked, you feel like every fiber of your being is screaming out no MORE! But, breath my dear, breath deeply, in and out, slowly, several times. Repeat. And say to yourself, I have brought life to this world. My child is my life bringer. I will not give up for my child."
If that doesn't work - I've always tried "Get your ass moving". Just get up. F WS, WS will not destroy me. WS is not worth it. F WS. until you find your anger to move again.
Do NOT GIVE UP! WE BELIEVE in YOU! WE know you did not deserve this! IT"S NOT YOU.... YOu have strength, you do... just breath, just for another minute, and then another...
just keep writting even it is.. I don't know what to say... just keep breath hun!
"This wasn't about you. Or your looks. Or hers. There was no contest and she did not "win." He's just insecure or an asshole or an insecure asshole." Plan C.
This Topic is Archived
