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I shouldn't be surprised. We were kind of expecting this since Dipshit was arrested in Feb.

Silly stupid me feels sorry for him. When really, I should be angry. This is a natural consequence of his stupidity.

This will put a hold on the divorce. Now I know why we never heard back on the MSA. Thank God my parents are willing and able to care for the kids and I. Health insurance will be our biggest issue. I guess I'll be getting a job quicker than I had planned.

Jeez. xBFF/OW wanted to know how I was doing. Pretty damn shitty, that's how.

I'm so sorry. My ex also lost his job several months ago. He refused COBRA for the kids, so I've been scrambling to try and get health insurance for them. It's taken me three months.

Be open to the possibility that losing a job is sometimes a ploy to avoid paying spousal or child support.

My ex lost his job and refuses to get a job, Granted he of course is ALWAYS looking-however, for now he is content with a 15hr a week part time gig that pays minimum wage.

This seems to be a typical ploy as means to manipulate and control you through financial abuse.

[This message edited by southsidecali at 10:30 AM, June 9th (Monday)]

XH lost his job twice during the pendency of our D. It was a huge deal. The first time was effectively a demotion. He worked for the same hospital and kept the same benefits. The second time, he had to leave that particular hospital (network of them really) and he lost his benefits. This was an absolute disaster. My kids lost their speech/occupational/physical/behavioral therapists, psychologist, pediatricians, and intensive autism preschool program. They were completely without insurance for about a month, but the new job doesn't provide anything close to the benefits the kids got from the original job.

It didn't affect the D moving forward and he provides support as if he still has the original job. It paid about $20k more than his actual job, so the result is that he is screwed for money. It is very difficult for a job loss (quitting voluntarily or being fired) to have any impact on the support owed. Collection might be more difficult, but it will still be owed and the state enforcement agency will pursue it.

Dipshit was arrested at work on his "Attempted Solicitation of a Minor" charges. I suspect the cops also confiscated his work computer. He's a programmer. I suspect his work has been waiting for an excuse to get rid of him ever since.

My concern is whether or not his arrest (charges were withdrawn) will show up on background checks by prospective employers. He has really messed up his future.

Oy! What is it with these guys and losing their jobs?? Oh, right...they make poor life decisions. Why would we think that they only make those in regards to their personal lives?

Try not to worry about the consequences for him and his ability to get another job. Honestly, not looking good for him. Try to focus on you and what you need to provide for you kiddos. Put your energies in moving your life forward (and the D forward as well).

Why would you have to put a hold on your divorce? What you want in SS, CS or insurance coverage can be left as is in the MSA with the proviso that they will be paid by him when he gets another job. Obviously you get nothing now, but if you wait for him to get his act together, you could be married to this jerk forever.

It's nice that you are a compassionate person and actually feel sorry for him. That's what he wants. But your compassion is going to keep you from a peaceful life. Divorce him and move ahead with your life.

You've got a good point. I won't delay if I don't have too. Just didn't know if we could do an MSA when he's unemployed. 32% of nothing is nothing...

As I said in my post, XH's support is calculated as if he had the job from the time we first S. He's taken a $20k pay cut since then. It won't be calculated based on 0 income.

When support is calculated they will use standard formulas which will make assumptions about income. They will assume that your STBX has a full-time job, just as they assumed I have a full-time job when calculating my support. FTR, I do not have a full-time job, I haven't since 1999, and despite looking for 1.5 years I still do not have a full-time job. So the calculations were based on mythical money which does not exist. Doesn't matter. Just like it won't matter that your STBX doesn't have a job at the moment. It will be assumed that he does.

Just didn't know if we could do an MSA when he's unemployed. 32% of nothing is nothing...

Check your state CS laws. In my state, if there is unemployment by a parent it does not calculate based on an assumed minimum wage job. Rather, there is a minimum of $50/month imposed if there is no income at all. So even if there is a pt minimum wage job, it will always be a minimum of $50 (or greater if determined by actual income).

Yeah, one can really do a lot with $50/month to support kids, but it is what it is...

Point being, every state is different.

Mine lost her job after her boss found out about her and her coworkers affair. Didn't really bother me as I've pretty much always been financially independent. Plus we don't have kids. Sucks for her though.

Okay, pity party for Dipshit is officially over.

Just found out that Dipshit was let go because he tested positive on a random drug screening. Who the hell is the stranger I was/am married to?!! Now I have to worry that my kids are safe around him.