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ajsmom (original poster member #17460) posted at 11:22 AM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
Hey y'all...it's me.
Tomorrow will mark my 25th Woulda Anniversary. Even though I'm five years post D, I'm anticipating a rough day at sea as most if you get that this storm never really goes away. It just changes direction.
Ex-asshat blocked in every conceivable communicative way? Check.
IC's contact number at the ready? Check.
Schedule full to ensure distraction? Check.
Still I know that at times tomorrow certain memories of that day will flood back. Please remind me that my new beginning is just that, that it's much better to be without him then with him, and if you want to toss in a few reminders to me as to why he is such an asshole, feel free.
Thanks in advance.
AJ's MOM
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 11:50 AM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
You know we have your back 
I'm sorry you're still going through this my friend. I had some of this around DGS's birth, but it's faded, and so will your angst.
(((((ajsmom)))))
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 3:10 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
((((ajsmom)))
I'm sorry. It's okay to have the bumpy day. Five years from tomorrow I'll bet it will be easier--does that help?
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:20 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
I had my 25th woulda back in January, so I get it. You get a gold star for recognizing it might be tough and lining up self-care ahead of time.
You've got this, honey. 
(((((ajsmom)))))
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 3:37 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
You know we have your back
Ditto...always!!
((((ajsmom))))
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 3:47 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
Standing right behind you - mine is coming up in about 2 months.
You can do it. The super-coolness that is you will prevail.
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
cmego ( member #30346) posted at 4:01 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 5:05 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
Oh shoot, I can barely remember what day it was... You will too eventually!
Might be a good day to take a kickboxing class? 
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Newlease ( member #7767) posted at 9:43 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
I experienced what woulda been my 25 one year (yes one) after the D was final. I spent the day weeping in my bed. Then I got up and moved on. Now, 9 years later, I don't even remember the day until it has passed.
Sending strength and peace.
NL
Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.
Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 9:56 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
Good thoughts coming your way. I know just how you feel. When my daughter was pregnant she was due on what would have been my anniversary. I was so glad she was overdue. The thought of that being my grand daughter's birthday was horrific to me. And I can't imagine having to spend the 22 hours in the maternity waiting room that I did with him if it was on our anniversary. It was bad enough days later but that would have been pure hell.
Five years is nothing. I felt that way 20 years out.
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 10:01 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
Take a deep breath and remember we love ya!!
It will be over soon. And then it will be in the past.
((((hugs))))
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 10:55 PM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
Hey ajsmom, missed you lately! Sorry this date is here, but I know you can make it through, and we're all here for you if you need it.
Good news, is once you are past this one, you're all good, and I'm hopeful it will pass more easily than you think. ((ajsmom)) 
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 1:51 AM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
You got this ajsmom, you're tough. My 25th was 3 months before the divorce, so at least I don't have to dread it coming up! Don't forget to do something nice for yourself in the middle of all that busy-ness.
And thanks for being the Commish!
[This message edited by kernel at 7:51 PM, August 11th (Monday)]
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
hexed ( member #19258) posted at 2:19 AM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
((AJ)))
we've missed you around these parts.
My X and I were together 7 years before we married. Our 10th anni would have been 7/17/14. I was pretty ready to be bothered by it. Nope...
Not at all. It crossed my mind but didn't send me spinning at all. You may be surprised by your lack of reaction.
but
You know where to find us!
But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
Must Survive ( member #34533) posted at 2:30 AM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
AJ,
You've got this. Sending you (((hugs))) and forgetfulness for tomorrow.
Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 3:09 AM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
Sending the bestest of good thoughts. Remember you can feel all of your feelings Darlin', you don't have to like them or want them, you just have to feel 'em...
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
yewtree ( member #16671) posted at 3:19 AM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
Hey! Just think how much stronger you will be after tomorrow!!!!
I hope you will do something nice for yourself.
Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)
Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 - No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.
roseguide ( member #35697) posted at 3:31 AM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you. – Buddhist saying
gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 1:12 PM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
Thinking about you today Ajsmom. Hang in here. We are all here to vent to when you need support.
"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie
WeepingBuddhist ( member #39139) posted at 2:04 PM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14
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