SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So Sunday while standing on the 12th tee waiting for this foursome from hell to find their balls for the 12th straight hole I’m wondering, “will I finish this round of golf before the end of August?” But then I looked around at the beautiful vineyard covered hills and the cloudless sky and thought, “Will I finish this round of golf before the end of August?” It was a concern as it was damn hot and August is a long month.

Well instead of 3.5 hour round I’m back in the clubhouse 6 hours later dragging myself to the bar on my knees with one hand up in the air squeaking in a parched voice, “beer, need beer now.” I pull myself up on a bar stool and as I’m chugging this Stella the bartender says, “Hey Homer Simpson, someone told me to give you this” and handed me an envelope… OK,he didn't call me Homer but he did hand me the envelope.

Seems my X knowing my golf and beer routine, bought me a number of beers (actually enough until the end of August) with a note saying she appreciates what a great job I’m doing keeping my daughter off the “Molly” and the next door boy…no no, actually she said how she appreciates the way I’m taking care of and raising our daughter and what a lovely young lady she is turning out to be. (Kid lives with me, the X lives in LA, and kid has been down there for some of the summer break)

Well we have both moved on and I have long past taken her off my “beeeetttttccchhhh, you have ruined my life and I hate your guts and hope you get all ugly and you die slow painful horrible long lasting death list,’” but this is the first time she has bought me a beer since the whole nasty business so now the forgiveness is complete. Amazing what a nice cold free Stella, some air conditioning, and a note complementing on your parenting skills can accomplish to help a man get past his troubles.

So I know what you’re thinking,” He is just posting this crap so we will think he is such a wonderful dad and his X even buys him some beers and blah blah blah and he must be a totally shallow wanker if a few free beers will complete the forgiveness even for what that beeetttcccchhhh did” …. Well no shit…exactamundo and guilty as charged. Actually, to be more exactamundo, I would say I have found my balls and I'm moving on and even though I just may be that shallow wanker, what the hell,…Lift your glasses and a toast to all of us finding our balls and moving forward …it’s too f-ing hot in August to stand on a tee and watch your life go smoldering by...we can do this.

[This message edited by asurvivor at 10:18 AM, August 11th (Monday)]

Congratulations! Here's to finding your balls.

And, to being a great dad.

I love your updates, truly. You deserved the beer. And it's great for your daughter as well as for you that you could take it.

[This message edited by norabird at 2:53 PM, August 11th (Monday)]

asurvivor - has anyone ever told you that you really have a way with words?

Seriously, you would probably make a good writer (of course, if that's what you are, then I would probably enjoy reading some of what you've written!)

You do have a way with words.

I'm a woman who found her balls - I just keep mine in a really great purse!

It is a beautiful life. So many things to be thankful for.

asurvivor, if you start a blog, please let me know. Writing like yours is a gift. Oh, and congrats on the balls, moving on, and being a great dad.

That right there just became my favourite post of the day!

I am far too naive to enjoy your posts the first read through. I am just trekking along, believing every word when you do that no, no, really routine. Or maybe I enjoy reading whiplash?

I agree with the others. You have talent!

I keep it with Lily Allen and Hard Out There

Love your writing style, keep it coming.

I have to confess: I read your subject line, "fondling your balls." Which says more about me than you, I fully realize.

Great job, great progress! (And great post )

I know this joke about a guy who is stuck behind some slow players on the back nine...so I thought maybe you were going there with this thread...Your humoristic retelling of your true life experience is as entertaining as a joke though! Glad you are making peace with things.

And I too, love my Stella Artois....Cheers!

That shit really can be wiped off.....good to know.....

I thought yesterday when I wrote this that it may actually be my last post in NB. I really do appreciate the “likes” but I have felt that I may be too nonsensical for some and they were not, I don’t know, “painful” enough and I mean that sincerely and in the best possible way.

I'm in a very maudlin mood this morning as so many of us who live in the Bay Area have a Robin Williams story or two and I will just say that it is very sad time for me and he will be missed.

So, no need to comment on any of this, just thanks again.

As for "not painful enough" I think people post when they are struggling to get the feedback so that tends to be the tone. But perhaps more importantly are those who post from beyond the pain to light the way for those still struggling in it.

You will post or not as works for you. The SI motto of "take what you need and leave the rest" works in so many facets.

I understand the grief. It feels as if a nation is mourning.

(((hugs)))