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I knew my WW bought about a dozen lingerie sets during her affair because I reviewed all the credit cards during her affair time period. She also bought a lot of sexy clothes and shoes. I didn't focus on these purchases because I hadn't decided to stay with her or divorce her. I was avoiding all processing until I decided what to do. Then yesterday it started pissing me off that all that lingers that she bought with MY money ( she hasn't had a paying job for years- I pay for everything ) was probably in my house so I went into all her closets and found her new lingerie. I called her upstairs to confront her. I was irate.

I threw all her lingerie and underwear on the bed. When she got to the room I confronted her. She admitted she bought lingerie for him during the affair. I exploded. I have never felt rage like that in my life. I got in her face and screamed that she was not my wife - she was another man's whore. I called her every name I could think at the top of my lungs. I asked if she had any respect for me at all. I asked her how she could buy lingerie with my money to fuck another man then store the lingerie in my house.

She had no useful response.

Next, I made her model all the lingerie for me while I explained that she is a slut and another mans whore. I made her act out sex scenes she could remember wearing that exact piece of lingerie or whatever I told her to do. She has never been so humiliated in her life which is good. I hope she never forgets using my money to buy lingerie to fuck another man.

Do you think I went to far ? ( She certainly thinks I went to far.)

Edit/ Append:

Most comments say I went too far. Please keep in mind my wife fucked another man approximately 50 times in several months while married to me. She would fuck him at lunch then fuck me at night. I always give my wife oral because that is the only wsy she orgasms. She admits to giving me sloppy seconds multiple times. I did the math and it is at least ten times.

My own wife gave me sloppy seconds on the same day ncluding giving her oral at least ten times ( it could be far more than ten times)

Giving your husband sloppy seconds including getting oral on the same day she fucked and sucked another man is abusive- far more abusive than making her model lingerie that she bought with my money to fuck another man.

What should the penalty be for giving your husband sloppy seconds on the same day including kissing him on the mouth after giving him oral and allowing him to give you oral 4-5 hours after having intercourse with another man on at least ten days ?

[This message edited by MinnisotaManInWi at 2:59 AM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

Yes you went too far. What you did was emotional abuse. If you chose to stay with her you’re allowed to be angry, you’re allowed to be hurt and to express this but you are not allowed to abuse her.

Next, I made her model all the lingerie for me while I explained that she is a slut and another mans whore. I made her act out sex scenes she could remember wearing that exact piece of lingerie or whatever I told her to do.

And she simply just complied with this, did she?

Either you’re a liar or a lunatic. Maybe both. If you don’t think this would be too far, then maybe it’s time to seek out some professional help.

Yubas-

She abused me for months by lying and fucking another man dozens of times over several months. I don't care if I make her model lingerie that she wore to fuck her AP. She deserves the humiliation because she was a married woman who fucked another man for months.

[This message edited by MinnisotaManInWi at 1:55 AM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

Loukas-

I explained as loud as I could in her face that she was another mans whore who was going to model all her lingerie that she bought with my money or I was going to throw all her shit on the front lawn. The house is in my name alone. Almost all our assets are in my name alone

I don't give a fuck if I humiliated her. She fucked another man dozens of times over several months and plunged me into emotional agony. I don't sleep, I can't think straight or concentrate, I worry about loosing my multi-generational family business if I divorce her, I can't get an erection, don't have any sex drive at all ( it was turned off like a switch...ect ) and I now have clinical depression.

I don't give a fuck if she endured some humiliation. She deserved it.

[This message edited by MinnisotaManInWi at 2:05 AM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

Here’s the thing.

My anger was no less than yours internally. But I didn’t even call my ex a bitch, let alone the rest of what you’re saying.

What you’re doing is wrong. There is no amount of abuse you could inflict on her that will erase what she’s done. All you are doing is punishing her, and that to me says far more about the kind of man you are than all you other posts did. You make me ashamed of my gender.

This may be the first time I’ve ever said this here on SI... but I would advise your WW to get as far away from you as fast as she can.

You need professional help.

I don't know how to say this ... you told her to model it or she'd have to leave. She felt trapped or like she had to do it.

Please seek a counselor.

Babbu- she was not trapped- she could have gone to live with her father or sister who live in the area.

[This message edited by MinnisotaManInWi at 2:17 AM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

Just leave. Leave.

There are two possible outcomes here;

- One day you’ll look back on this behaviour with overwhelming shame (this is abusive behaviour)

- One day you won’t look back on this with overwhelming shame (this is a worse outcome than no. 1)

It’s fine if this is a deal-breaker. Just walk away. Either way, find professional help to deal with the anger.

I don't give a fuck if she endured some humiliation. She deserved it.

And what do you think you deserve after the way you’ve acted?

Make no mistake, what you’ve posted here is far beyond humiliation. Keep this up and a judge will make sure you lose your multi-generational family business. One day your wife will decide she’s going to divorce your abusive, controlling ass and on that day her lawyer will have a field day after the destruction you’re laying down.

It makes no difference how useless you think your wife is, all the meals she never made, the money she didn’t make, the cleaning she didn’t do or the guys she fucked; keep this up and that perfect image of the perfect husband you claim to be will all fall apart. So far in spectacular fashion.

Sucka-

Did your wife give you sloppy seconds at least ten times including kissing you on the mouth the same day she sucked another mans penis and allowed you to give her oral 5-6 hours after another man's penis was in her vagina ? ( this is hard core massive abuse )

Loukas-

I will just tell the judge she gave me at least ten instances of sloppy seconds including oral sloppy seconds. If the judge is a man I will get everything.

Making her model the lingerie she bought with my money to fuck another man is nothing compared to the way she has treated me.

Good luck with that.

You’re missing the point. You seem to be running some internal score card that only you know the rules on.

You seem to be obsessed with your manhood. If that’s the priority here for you, divorce her. Move on.

Punishing a woman you feel you have economic power over... that’s not a wife. That’s a slave. I’m done with this thread. You’re going to regret this behaviour one day, or as the above poster said you won’t which is definitely worse.

Your wife is with you because she’s trapped financially it seems. I don’t see you coming back from this.

Sloppy seconds is tough to endure for any person. It’s quite disgusting and humiliating and the fact that your wife didn’t have the decency to turn you away says a lot.

Good luck. You also need to see a lawyer. Your understanding of the legal process in your state is very limitED. A judge doesn’t care about sloppy seconds. Seriously, figure out you options and seek legal advice

edited...

[This message edited by Dragonfly123 at 5:16 AM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

all what i'm worried about is that she will try to use this against you thats all

no sympathy for cheaters from me

if she's not happy the door is opened

she can f### off

Some random guy kept giving me the finger. Cutting me off on the road. Slamming on his brakes to try to make me rear end his car. He clipped the side of my car. So u beat him up on the side of the road. Now I'm in jail for assault and battery.

None of that happened.

The guy was definitely wrong. A jerk. In a fair life he would not get away with acting like that.

But all that as a given does that excuse my actions? Make them less worse? Aren't my actions punishable too?

You and your wife are setting up a seriously toxic relationship.

Why not just throw the crap away together or burn it in the backyard instead of using such tactics?

No one wins in the scenario you are following. Not her. Not you. Not your marriage. No one.

Then yesterday it started pissing me off that all that lingers that she bought with MY money ( she hasn't had a paying job for years- I pay for everything )

That doesn't really matter. You're married. The accumulated wealth since you were married belongs to both of you.

I thought you were only worried that his dick was bigger, or if she thought sex with him was better? Oh well. I could be mistaken.

I got in her face and screamed that she was not my wife - she was another man's whore. I called her every name I could think at the top of my lungs. I asked if she had any respect for me at all. I asked her how she could buy lingerie with my money to fuck another man then store the lingerie in my house.

She had no useful response.

Probably not. Why would she have any respect for a 'man' who would act like that? If she:

Next, I made her model all the lingerie for me while I explained that she is a slut and another mans whore. I made her act out sex scenes she could remember wearing that exact piece of lingerie or whatever I told her to do. She has never been so humiliated in her life which is good. I hope she never forgets using my money to buy lingerie to fuck another man.

If she did that, then she's a terrified woman. I never in 100 years would have done that in any situation. At all. However, I would have called 911.

And you sound like the terrorist.

I'm sorry that she broke your heart. But, if you are now acting like this?

Get a divorce, man.

And realize, most judges couldn't care less about adultery. It's simply a matter of numbers.

Too far. Way too far. What you did crossed into the zone of domestic violence imo.

Regardless of what she's done to you, what you did was uncalled for. You don't have to react like that. While I understand what she did to you was horrifying and you find it demeaning, it doesn't excuse what you done.

Get out. Get help. Do something to help yourself. Because what you are ruminating on constantly, and allowing yourself to do, won't repair the damage and it'll lead you down a path from which there is little chance of return.