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New Beginnings :
Dating..

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 Cicinsajn (original poster member #60023) posted at 7:12 PM on Tuesday, February 5th, 2019

I whent on my first dait..we talk for 3hours..it felt nice..we texiting for 1week and he wants sex..why rush..i dont want sex whit him because i dont know him..hmm..are all guys are like that?

me:37
him:don't exist any more
English is not my native language. Please forgive any grammatical mistakes

posts: 251   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Croatia
id 8324490
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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 9:01 PM on Tuesday, February 5th, 2019

If he is wanting sex after one week and you don't then that should tell you he is not the one for you. Do not be pressured into moving a relationship faster than you want. No, not all men are like this. I dated my now husband for months before we took it to the next level and it was at our own pace. We got to know each other and became friends long before we became intimate. You are in control of your life and it's up to you how and when to proceed forward. He is not worthy of you.

XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

posts: 10077   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 8324563
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 9:14 PM on Tuesday, February 5th, 2019

He's already asked for sex? ASKED for it? And you're not giving off "I'm into it" signals? Nope nope nope. He sounds like a...well...NOT the man for you.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8324573
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LilBlackCat ( member #57470) posted at 10:09 PM on Tuesday, February 5th, 2019

Yea, sounds like you guys are not quite compatible..

Feeling you are not ready is fine and normal, if you pump the brakes and he is still striving to get you into bed.. Then it speaks for itself

If he takes that step back and respects your decision.. Then that's a different story, but you have to ensure you keep him reassured of your position of dating him.. otherwise, he will think you are stringing him along.. While playing the field. I know this, cause it happened to me...

My only suggestions beyond that, is to watch your own queues.. that might be misinterpreted as being forward and him reading those.. when they are not in fact true.

Men want to catch the woman they are into.. There are two primary views of getting a woman into bed.. One is the sexual fun aspect, and nothing more.. The other is moving the relationship to hopefully a monogamous level through sexual confirmation. Impossible to differentiate between the two tho.

Good luck.

Me: BS 43 (Now 50)
Her: WW 37
18 M, 19 Together
4 Children, youngest is now 9.

Divorce Final as of 9/3/19.

posts: 1247   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2017   ·   location: San Diego
id 8324611
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truthsetmefree ( member #7168) posted at 10:55 PM on Tuesday, February 5th, 2019

T/J....

I know English is not your native language so please take no offense about this. You speak two languages so you are waaay of me.

I think you’ve just coined a new term that fits my perspective on dating - Date + Bait = DAITING. I absolutely LOVE IT!

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 4:57 PM, February 5th (Tuesday)]

Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are. ~ Augustine of Hippo

Funny thing, I quit being broken when I quit letting people break me.

posts: 8994   ·   registered: May. 18th, 2005
id 8324636
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 Cicinsajn (original poster member #60023) posted at 5:02 AM on Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

me:37
him:don't exist any more
English is not my native language. Please forgive any grammatical mistakes

posts: 251   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Croatia
id 8324763
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 Cicinsajn (original poster member #60023) posted at 8:04 AM on Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

He didnt directly ask for it.But he invating him self to my home after 22h whit alcohol..i sey no..thx..now he text me good morning and taht's it..huh..i would told him that i dont want casual sex..

me:37
him:don't exist any more
English is not my native language. Please forgive any grammatical mistakes

posts: 251   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Croatia
id 8324793
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:23 PM on Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

truthsetmefree - I thought the same thing when I read that title. I thought it was some new, hip slang. Look at your Cicinsjn! Inviting words appropriate for age! Loved it. I am in awe of people who know multiple languages.

But he invating him self to my home

This is a BIG flag. I would worry if he is already like this (when he should be on his BEST behavior) - how will he be when he lets down his guard?

I found out quick when I was dating that people are all looking for different things. If you are not looking for a quick sexual relationship, then please tell him you are just looking for different things and wish him well on his endeavors.

AND PLEASE be safe when you are meeting new people. I am worried that he already knew where you lived on just the first date? And was in a place where he could force himself in if he wanted.

You take care of you first! You decide what you are ready for and make that clear to them. Don't do anything until you are ready.

posts: 6985   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8324854
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 Cicinsajn (original poster member #60023) posted at 2:04 PM on Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

Thank you..i told him today..and bye bye..huh.sorry my english is so bad ..i understand every word..i know how to speak but writing is not my thing

me:37
him:don't exist any more
English is not my native language. Please forgive any grammatical mistakes

posts: 251   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Croatia
id 8324876
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imagoodwitch ( member #23375) posted at 2:27 PM on Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

Please don't apologize! When I read your posts, I read them with your accent and I understand exactly what you are saying.

Never apologize for not wanting casual sex, stay true to you.

Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess

posts: 6906   ·   registered: Mar. 25th, 2009   ·   location: Munchkinland
id 8324896
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 3:08 PM on Wednesday, February 6th, 2019

sorry my english is so bad

Oh no - do not apologize!!! You do great - I am always able to understand what you mean. I just thought it was cute.

i told him today..and bye bye..huh

Good for you.

Remember, this is YOUR new beginning. If it helps, make a list of what you do and do not want in a future partner. Sometimes that helps us along the way when a new person starts messaging us because we get all caught up with the good feelings of just connecting with someone.

posts: 6985   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8324924
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 Cicinsajn (original poster member #60023) posted at 5:47 AM on Thursday, February 7th, 2019

Sending a grupe hug's

me:37
him:don't exist any more
English is not my native language. Please forgive any grammatical mistakes

posts: 251   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Croatia
id 8325357
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Tortured ( member #52141) posted at 7:17 AM on Friday, February 8th, 2019

I don’t automatically shoot down a guy that tries it on. Finding you attractive is also good What I do is judge how they respond when I decline. I ALWAYS have a mandatory wait period to weed out the ones just after sex.

Another thing I do to have intimacy but not sex is “pants on sleepovers”. So we hang out together / sleep in the same bed ... kiss etc. but the PANTS stay on! I had a Dutch colleague who we would have massives laugh over this and he would just say pants on sleepovers mean you don’t like them enough. I disagree.... it’s nice to lie and chat without having sex.

TorturedMe: BSHim: WH (serial)Three kidsDD: Nov 2015 (and so much trickle truth that I would be listing a month a DDays)Sep: Dec 2016

posts: 185   ·   registered: Mar. 6th, 2016
id 8325988
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tiredofcrying59 ( member #56180) posted at 12:32 AM on Saturday, February 9th, 2019

Just asking, I don't know what dating site you're on, but you can put that you don't want any ONS or anything like that. Also make sure your pics are attractive yet not overtly sexy.

I am pretty casual about sex, but not everyone is, not even all guys. Just be safe and don't let anyone pressure you. I meet everyone in a public place the first time. Just to be sure. And I tell someone where I'm going.

BW
Me-59
Him-57
M-33 yrs, not that I "celebrate" it
D-day-10/30/16 2mo.PA w/COW attempting R

new news- like a 5 year A w/COW, no longer attempting R. What am I, an idiot?

Getting on with life, without him.

posts: 1273   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2016
id 8326498
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 Cicinsajn (original poster member #60023) posted at 8:21 AM on Saturday, February 9th, 2019

Im not on dating site..i meet this guy on concert 2weeks ago

me:37
him:don't exist any more
English is not my native language. Please forgive any grammatical mistakes

posts: 251   ·   registered: Aug. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Croatia
id 8326599
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