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JanaGreen (original poster member #29341) posted at 5:00 AM on Saturday, July 13th, 2019
That's what my friend said to me tonight. My daughter went to her house to play with friend's daughter, and as my son was with his dad I spent the evening putting my daughter's bed together. So friend, being nice, brought the girls (her girls and my daughter) back to my house about 9:00 and helped me finish putting the bed together (it's a loft bed with an attached slide and ladder and a upper tower thingie and it's kind of a bitch). We were talking and she gestured around my new house (I just bought it July 1 and she was actually my realtor, which is a part-time gig for her) and said, "I couldn't do what you're doing." I didn't really understand what she meant, I thought she meant buying the house on my own, and I said well, I got a good price on my old house, and she said, "No, all of this. Be on your own, work, handle moving, parent your kids. All of it. I couldn't do it." I told her yes, yes she could, I didn't think that I could but I am. But it made me feel good. I put so much pressure on myself - it's July 12! I moved in July 1! Why don't I have everything unpacked yet? Why is my TV sitting on the floor instead of mounted on the wall? Why is there miscellaneous crap all over my kitchen table and counters? But it made me feel less . . . I don't know, less of a disaster. I'm holding it together better than I give myself credit for, I guess. I was so scared to get divorced and I hung on way longer than I should have because of my fear that I couldn't handle adult life on my own. I felt like I couldn't manage myself, much less myself and the kids. But we're ok. There's boxes all over my house but it's MY HOUSE. Me and my babies. I'm going to make it cozy and happy and warm for them.
I don't know if she has any idea how her words made me feel but man. That meant a lot.
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 5:27 AM on Saturday, July 13th, 2019
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 11:05 AM on Saturday, July 13th, 2019
Yes you can. And you are!
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 12:19 PM on Saturday, July 13th, 2019
(((JG)))). You have not only Survived you have flourished. You picked up the pieces and set a wonderful example for your children.....
You did Good!!!
Be proud you deserve it!
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
de.va.sta.ted ( member #22922) posted at 1:15 PM on Saturday, July 13th, 2019
Good for you! You ARE doing it, and you rock.
We are all capable of so much more than we think, and I love seeing it demystified, example after example.
My son just went traveling on his own (well, he travelled solo and met his gf) and one of my favorite parts of him telling me about it was when he said, I thought traveling was this big complicated thing, but it's not.
Those are the moments, like yours, where confidence is built up.
SO happy for you. 
Me: BW Him: WH D-Day 1: February 2009 D-Day 2: April 2018 Divorced!
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 2:30 PM on Saturday, July 13th, 2019
Exactly - we do what we have to do in situations. You will do it and it will be great.
As for your friend....maybe she could or maybe not. I am guessing she could if she had too but there are folks that just can not. Either way - if she is faced with this path...she will have YOU there as a pioneer to help her through. Just like she is doing now to you with those words (which she probably has no clue how much it helped validate you).
You go girl!
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