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Newest Member: Victor Bear

Divorce/Separation :
I'm divorced! Woohoo! :) :) :)

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 ashesofkali (original poster member #56327) posted at 7:43 PM on Sunday, December 29th, 2019

My divorce was finalized last week. Just in time for Christmas. It's hard to explain to my parents why this is pretty much my favorite holiday gift ever. My xWH is deep in debt and spends a lot of his time being unemployed and blaming other people for his problems. I like to work hard, be frugal and keep a squeaky-clean credit record, so getting this divorce finalized is a real sigh of relief for me. I can sleep now – I no longer have to lie awake at night worrying about his creditors coming after me.

Here's the goodbye letter I wrote (but didn't send, of course) to xWH:

"You betrayed me with another woman. Then you controlled my emotional response to that betrayal by lying to me about it. That's psychological manipulation, and psychological manipulation = abuse. And since 5 or 6 years went by between the day you started your affair and the day I found about it, it falls under the heading of 'long-term abuse.' You're an abuser. That's why I divorced you. Now go fuck yourself."

Me: 54yo former BW, divorced, no kids

Him: Deleted

posts: 131   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2016   ·   location: New Mexico
id 8488963
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 11:14 PM on Sunday, December 29th, 2019

Congrats! Onward and upward to your new beginning!

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8489022
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3greatkids ( member #69847) posted at 11:20 PM on Sunday, December 29th, 2019

Congrats!! 🍾🎉

You can’t get blood from a turnip...or remorse from a narcissist.

A lifetime of betrayals, not “just” 5.

I know my worth.

posts: 134   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2019
id 8489024
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Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 2:02 AM on Monday, December 30th, 2019

Congrats! Your life is now your own exclusively. You will no longer be afraid to answer the phone or open your mail to new spending surprises. My EXH was exactly like that. What ever I faced, at least I knew what was coming.

Happy New Year to you. And God bless your new life.

posts: 1736   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 8489079
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 3:31 AM on Monday, December 30th, 2019

Congrats! Now go out and live your life free from manipulation and abuse. Best wishes.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8489116
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Newbeginnings24 ( member #71510) posted at 3:41 AM on Monday, December 30th, 2019

Congratulations. Lots of freedom and fun times ahead for you. Xx

DDay....it doesn’t matter, it’s in the past!

Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness - Katherine Henson.

Walk out of that door and don’t look back!

posts: 197   ·   registered: Sep. 8th, 2019   ·   location: England
id 8489118
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