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fooled13years (original poster member #49028) posted at 8:22 PM on Friday, January 10th, 2020
Two Monks were walking along a stream bank when they came across a newly married couple wondering how they could get to the other side without getting wet.
The two Monks said “climb up on our backs and we will carry you across.”
When on the other side of the stream the bride said “I am so mad that the bottom of my dress got wet.”
The Monks went on their way, and after a while the Monk who had carried the bride across the stream said “I can’t believe that that woman didn’t thank us. All she did was complain about the bottom of her dress getting wet. Doesn’t she know that she would have been soaked from head to toe had I not carried her across that stream?”
The Monk who had carried the groom across looked at his companion and said “why are you still carrying that woman? You got her off your back more than 5 miles ago.”
May we all leave those things, and people, we have gotten off our backs in the past and move on to a great life.
I removed myself from infidelity and am happy again.
whoami62 ( member #65972) posted at 10:37 PM on Friday, January 10th, 2020
Maybe I am missing the point , but it kind of seems like blaming the victim for not forgiving
A dress is just a possession , but pain inflicted is real and tangible
If circumstances are not in place to forgive , then let's not blame the person who was harmed
ShatteredSakura ( member #70885) posted at 11:21 PM on Friday, January 10th, 2020
ThisIsSoLonely ( Guide #64418) posted at 11:23 PM on Friday, January 10th, 2020
but it kind of seems like blaming the victim for not forgiving
I don't see it about forgiving at all - I see it as being 100% about letting go. I see it as a the victim having to be reminded that the weight they are carrying is gone. It's very appropriate in situations such as divorce...you are allowing something that is no longer attached to you still bother your progress going forward even though it is no longer your weight to bear.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies when it comes to holding onto painful or troublesome things. Allowing something bad that has happened in the past jade your future is hurting only you...
Thanks for the post fooled!
You are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Act accordingly.
Constantly editing posts: usually due to sticky keys on my laptop or additional thoughts
fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 12:45 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2020
fooled13years:
Excellent point. Let them go. The sooner you can let them go, the sooner you can start t9 heal and move forward.
Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.
ShatteredSakura ( member #70885) posted at 12:49 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2020
fareast:
Sometimes it is difficult letting go of "Karen" 
cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 2:20 AM on Saturday, January 11th, 2020
Even monks get treated badly. She was a Npd
It takes years to get over Npd abuse 
Its tiring to keep getting over things. For once I would love some karma. he should have tossed her ass. At least then. As he ruminates. It can be with a smile.
[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 8:24 PM, January 10th (Friday)]
hopefullife ( member #71881) posted at 1:25 PM on Monday, January 13th, 2020
Thank you for this parable. I need to learn how to let them go and be on my merry way
10 yrs together. 2 yrs married. No kids.
2 Ddays. H living with OW and their child.
Focusing on self.
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