During this time when we have all been home together, there has been much opportunity for reflection on what has occurred in my life and the life of our family. And thankfully, we have lost no one or had anyone get sick in any of our extended families.
There have been a few moments of drama. My wife walked in on my daughters raging about one of their sorority sisters cheating on her boyfriend and I thought she would pass out on the floor she looked so shaken. Thank heavens she left the kitchen before the girls noticed something was wrong and asked her any questions. Given her total honestly and effort to repair our marriage, it made me thankful; I did not take some of the advice to expose what she did to our kids. I cannot think of one possible positive thing in retrospect that would have accomplished. Now had her behavior been similar to what is running rampant on the JFO forum right now all that would have been different.
My girls have made me proud as usual. They have insured that their grandparents have not had to venture anywhere where they might be at risk, and have done all the grocery shopping, waiting in lines , and delivery. They have also helped our neighbors who are older.
Fortunately, we have a wide enough driveway that I could wheel the basketball net out there so we all got some exercise and the girls actually have gone running with my wife daily around the streets. We are not on this insane total lockdown here. Old dad here can't run with them as fast so one designated “driver” stays behind to jog with me. However, for you basketball fans I still am HORSE champion of the nets, and I have been able to weightlift in our home gym.
I have done a lot of reading of this forum and communicated with some of you on PM, but not much responding. I still don't get it and a lot of the recommendations to me are just ass backwards but well meant. To see people flailing around for weeks, months, and even years refusing to use all of the tools to get them the truth is actually somewhat triggering and depressing to me. I just don't get it. We tell them to take their time to make any decisions ( good advice) but then tell them to go rushing into a therapists office which many do without any idea of the beliefs on infidelity of that therapist regarding infidelity or because they're all that's available or paid for by insurance. Its like operating on the patient for cancer by a dentist. I apologize if this offends some of you.
My wife is still very ashamed of herself. We actually went back through her journals since now that time has passed I wanted to go through it again in a calmer state. My conclusion is pretty much the same. A perfect storm of what is needed for any “crime”. Weakness, the opportunity, and the belief you will not get caught mixed in with the “naughtiness” of the illicit. Now, unless you consider ALL adultery the same, I remain firm in my belief this was not an affair resembling anything like the eight or ten currently in JFO, but rather the casual fuck fest mentioned in my original thread in their description.
She has had to have a few video meetings with "hotwife" girlfriend involved, which is weird as sometimes I have heard some of the interactions. It still boggles my mind that this very intelligent woman lives this lifestyle. It is what it is I guess. They have no other communication but are cordial and friendly.
The important thing is that I have the TRUTH, I have made peace with what she has done, but I will NOT ever forget it. Our life together goes on an my family stays intact. And I am both amazed and thankful that HER parents have stayed mum and stayed out of it as I never wanted them involved in any way. I guess that's it for the vent. I hope everyone finds some peace and gets their lives together.
