Last year I decided that I’d had enough of fWH’s way of dealing with aftermath of A and lukewarm efforts at rebuilding our relationship. I moved out of the house and into an extended stay hotel to live my required 6 months apart, get agreement signed and then move out of state.
Up until that time we were about 9 years into me believing that if only I could explain my needs to him in a better way (me and 2 MC’s), he would understand, step up and life would be great.
At the time, though, I didn’t realize that I was dealing with someone who had some narcissistic tendencies and quite possibly symptoms of Asperger’s.
After about 4 months his behavior changed. He wanted to talk more, began reading about communication and relationships (like I had been asking him to do for 9 years) and I started to feel that there was a real possibility that he had “seen the light”.
I moved back to the house a few months later, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that the changes were merely to get me to move back. I decided that I would wait till after the holidays and move out permanently.
Then, of course, the pandemic hit.
About 4 months ago, when he was talking about some future plans, I told him that as soon as it was safe, I was leaving. He said he was shocked, etc, etc. But that was the extent of the conversation.
Fast forward to last month, he’s talking about more future plans, I remind him I’m leaving and he said “Oh, you’re still planning to do that?” Uh, yeah! From the things he says, even now, I’m sure he believes that I’m staying.
I have been very cautious about staying safe here, and feel like I can do that where I plan to go. I will need to rent an apartment, buy some furnishings and food, etc., but won’t have to interact with many people as my work allows me to work from home. My brother lives there so I have some support if needed.
Emotionally, staying here is a great strain, but I don’t know if the physical implications of moving could be worse.
Any thoughts/advice?? Has anyone moved during this time of craziness?
