SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Cheaters get so sneaky and very clever with their phones and devices.

I must say my bf was cheating for years and i had a feeling something was going on and a few times i did sneak onto his phone at night and saw nothing that he was doing wrong.

When i found his google history by accident on our home pc years later i saw at the beginning of getting his smart phone he searched how to delete history off a phone. There was never no pictures, no messages, no search history to point to him contacting girls on sex websites and also going on plenty of fish. He was good at getting rid of all his evidence.

After i caught him out trying to log into the sex website he said sorry and that he only looked at pictures. lol local escort pictures yeah right just looking. These days he leaves his phone around more to prove he aint doing anything but i know he has just learnt to be more sneaky. Best source of evidence also to check on your cheating partner is emojis they use.. check their recently used ones. i found love hearts and kisses on my bfs phone and he never sent them to me But he has now stopped his phone records getting sent to the house and his bank statements so thats an alarm bell there too.Its little things like that that keep the cogs turning in my head.

My husband had a separate phone that he used. Its so easy to get one now, he bought it for $20 and I had no clue. His phone was always clean when I checked it. Now I know why--he didn't use it because he knew I might find something on it. He kept his cheater phone at work so there was no possibility of me finding out. He was good at what he did.

He also bought a portable DVD player from a guy he worked with so he could watch porn DVDs in his truck. He paid cash when he was misbehaving so nothing ever showed up on bank statements.

Oh wow,that is full on sneaky.i didnt think of my bf having a second phone. Something else to worry about lol .. worrying is never ending being with a serial cheater.

My brain and stomach needs a holiday haha I have IBS and it's flared up so bad with the stress of the past few years.

One thing I do not miss is the lying and sneaking.

There are lots of different marital and sexual agreements people can have. That's their business. The issue in our marriage is that my husband renegotiated our contract without my consent to include other people. That turned me into a shell of my former self:a pick me person who was seeking to enforce a contract my husband obviously wanted out of. He wanted to lie. He wanted to do things on his phone he would not want most of the people in his in real life kife to know about.

I remember the days of wanting to know what he was doing so badly. Now what he's up to is irrelevant to me. I can honestly say the latter is so much better and I have so much more peace.

I don't need to build fences to keep my husband from straying. I don't need to install security cameras or monitor his online world. That would have been his job if he wanted to continue in our marriage.

I wish everyone who is struggling with infidelity peace and healing.

So to keep myself educated on their sneaky ways I loiter on the pro-adultery sites where they help each other out on new techniques to keep the betrayal up, yeah... that kind of septic tank of humanity exists.

One of the more popular advice is to have multiple phones and devices, that way the one you always see will be "hand over ready" whenever you want it. some times the second 'cheating' phones are kept at work or gym locker but most of the time they're hidden at home. Cars (look inside the rim of spare tyres and jumper cable bags), garage, toy boxes ( ), under BBQ covers, under mattress/cushions, inside jacket pockets in the closet, inside boots and travel luggage, in the office somewhere.

There are apps that 'trap and hide' pics received and sent and they are often called 'the vault' it means pics never go to pic folders but instead get sent to this vault. There are many apps like this out there unsure how you can check if it's been downloaded.

Most smart phones also have hidden secret folders, a google search of your waywards phone will tell you if they have such a feature and how to access it. It requires a password to set up so if it does have this folder but doesn't ask for a password it's likely they don't use it. If it asks for a password it's been set up.

One thing I did discover, hooray for us BS a win for us, is if you go into the phones battery (in settings, look for battery usage or power usage or just 'battery') there will list a % of battery life used for all the apps and programs on the phone, this information can not be deleted!! and on some phones if a app is removed it will still name that app on that list as the battery life records the week usage not daily. Look at the apps used the most, see if those are related to dating sites or have a chat feature.

Since being on this road I have read and been told by various sources "trust your gut" our minds work in wonderous ways and pick up on a lot more then we consciously know about. It's a primal warning system built into our instincts, a throw back to hunter/gather days to keep us alert about predators and danger, trust your gut if you feel something is off.

So to keep myself educated on their sneaky ways I loiter on the pro-adultery sites where they help each other out on new techniques to keep the betrayal up, yeah... that kind of septic tank of humanity exists.

I do the same thing! It doesn't trigger me like it used to do, so now it's primarily research (and secretly wondering if I will find links back to my WH). I agree that a secret phone is a big one, and apps like Telegram.

Also don't forget on iphones, there is a way to see what apps have been downloaded and then hidden. Don't let them make you believe they have no idea how they were hidden because it takes a couple of steps to do it. It's not accidental.

I know I'm weird, but at this point I find the sleuthing amusing and I feel like I may write a book on how to catch a cheater.

Best source of evidence also to check on your cheating partner is emojis they use.. check their recently used ones.

I have said this before on another post and will say again that when I look at my own frequently used emojis, it's not valid. The first two are the frequently used, and after that in the top 10, there are some I recently used but not frequently used, and some I don't even remember the last time I used (like a tent emoji, and I HATE camping). So while there may be something to it, it's not 100% damning.

I guess I’m the exception to the rule for people my age (50+Group) that is I’m the most tech savvy in the house, and knowing that my WW also understands that the discovery of any burner phones or hidden email addresses means instant D.

I also reserve the right (as a rigid stipulation of R) that I can take her phone and look at it or run recovery software as I see fit.

She would be very stupid to try to out tech me lol.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 10:52 PM, June 29th (Tuesday)]

Recovery software??

Recovery software??

There are quite a few out there, for all devices, Dr Fone is the one I used. Mobile/PC technicians can also do this for all devices (you drop off the device, pay, they back everything up on a usb or external drive if there is a lot of data.)

I can say that no single piece of software will do everything you desire, and a multi angle of attack will usually provide the best results.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 3:32 AM, July 1st (Thursday)]

Oops, double tap.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 3:31 AM, July 1st (Thursday)]

@landclark - same! I originally started because my WH is dumb enough to ask advice on those sites lol.

Ok everyone found out something new. There are apps that allow you to change the icon and name of other apps BUT some smart phones now have this feature. So if you are going to look through your wayward's phone, either super-sleuth style or because it was something agreed on open every single app on the phone, keep swiping until you hit the end of the page because the other new thing is you can pick a app up and move it over a few screens so when you look at a phone and see the page/screen with only a few apps you think "ok this is the end" nope keep swiping to get to the very last possible screen/page.

The other bit of info is there trace free apps, meaning you can call and text APs and it won't show on the bill. The most popular one is 'textfree' I personally had no clue about this so unsure of validity but FYI in any case.

And "Wickr" app appears to be the more popular chat app due to the extreme security around it and the self deleting message/pics. Kik is fading in popularity and whatsapp is considered a 'do not use' app since we, the BS, have caught on to that one now.

Not quite about phone but check for phone emulators on computers, programs like bluestacks is used like a simulated phone so their actual phone is clean but via the emulator that's where all the dating apps and chat apps and messages/pics are kept. So if you suspect dating apps used but phone is clean check the computer, go through all drives and see if a phone emulator has been downloaded.

And there are now 'dayuse' apps, hotel apps where you can books rooms in blocks during the day. Be suspicious of any hotel apps, even if the excise "it's for work" don't believe it, you don't need a dayuse for work, you can book via the computer like you always have. Just FYI.

[This message edited by LostInHisFog at 7:17 AM, July 3rd (Saturday)]

Oh geez so many things to keep an eye out on lol Bring back the days before mobile phones had internet on them or better yet bring back the days before mobile phones .

Life was so much simple and I guess cheating was so harder to do.

I hate the world we are in now. It's a cheaters paradise.