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Divorce/Separation :
"Amicable" Separation options on a farm: Anybody heard of full size Camper living, or putting up a 2nd house?

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 Superesse (original poster member #60731) posted at 11:46 PM on Tuesday, September 16th, 2025

Not a poll really, but just interested in any ideas or experience any of my fellow SI'rs have tried or have known worked out.

Background: 20 years IHS trying for R that's never happened. We signed a post nup in 2014, where WH deeded BW the house in exchange for another house BW deeded to WH and he sold later. There are no children and no families left alive on either side. As each of us are getting "elderly," neither like the idea of 100% solo living, yet fWH continuing to live in MY house with separate room isn't working well even as a roommate. (Lack of trust on my part to have a "reformed" SAWH living under this roof. Too great a history of deception and financial lack of honesty going back 20+ years.)

fWH owns a big fifth wheel camper which could work well as his full time "apartment" since he likes working in my barn on his customer's cars - it's a rural occupation he can do but it's my barn. There would need to be a septic system installed and a well water tap. Alternatively, he could build his own new house across the street on acreage we still jointly own (which could be divided in a divorce settlement; it's surveyed as 2 equal sized lots.)

He isn't "interested" in doing either of these, by the way, it's too comfortable here with the BW. :(
Just interested in any thoughts anybody has about either of these ideas. Thanks in advance!

Each of my ideas seem somewhat better than duplexing my house, because doing that option I'd still be dealing with the "What goes on here that I'm not aware of?" trust issue, even if I didn't have to clean up after him!

[This message edited by Superesse at 11:52 PM, Tuesday, September 16th]

posts: 2400   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8877729
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NoThanksForTheMemories ( member #83278) posted at 4:43 AM on Wednesday, September 17th, 2025

I know of a divorced couple that did a camper + house setup while co-parenting. The camper was parked on the side of the house and hooked up to water, sewer, and power, so that can certainly work and would probably be easier than building a house across the street.

If he's reluctant to move out, would you consider building a house across the street and moving there yourself? When WS and I separated, I decided to move out. All the memories in our house felt tainted, and it's been nice to have a fresh start. If you build the house across the street, you could make it exactly what you wanted, if that holds any appeal (assuming your financial situation would allow it).

WS had a 3 yr EA+PA from 2020-2022, and an EA 10 years ago (different AP). Dday1 Nov 2022. Dday4 Sep 2023. False R for 2.5 months. 30 years together. Separating.

posts: 315   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2023
id 8877745
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