SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not sure if this is even a common stage, maybe acceptance but 8 months from Dday 2, 9 months from d day 1 and I feel like I have had a shift in mindset. I feel like I have surrendered the fight. I am no longer trying to "fix" when I spiral, I simply "feel", for me this looks like I simply tell my husband what I am feeling and what has triggered me as opposed to picking over the past, asking more questions, asking the same question hoping for a different answer etc It hasn't been easy but I have done this now for a month, and the spirals are getting less frequent and I can get through them alot quicker. My husband has also stopped fearing my responses and really leans into it. For example I wanted to watch a program on TV, he made a fuss about not wanting to watch it (our older teens were there), later while on our own he told me the program had a husband discussing his affair and his wife was talking about this journey, he said he didn't want me triggered and blindsided while the kids were there but if I wanted to watch it as it was a good watch (documentary) he would watch it with me. Im sharing this for others early in this journey, I honestly couldn't see past the end of some days but I can see hope again and I can see my future again, even if it is.with baby steps

Baby steps — I sure remember those.

And steps forward and steps backward as well.

I experienced a similar moment. I recall my wife jumping off the couch and diving for the TV remote because the show we were watching had a scene with infidelity in it. We’re not young, and it was an amazing athletic move — but I told her she can’t protect me from triggers. What she can do is listen to me when I was struggling, and she did.

I am glad your husband is listening more.

I also like the sound of progress, however small it is.

Definitely full aware there will be many more backwards steps to come, I know this is a journey, and a difficult one at times, but at the minute I feel we are walking it beside each other