I saw a post yesterday that brought up memories and I just wanted to share my experience.
My H’s A with a coworker was a little weird, it spanned over a 2.5 year period but active in short isolated periods. AP was the warehouse bike who would cycle around different men for attention but my H was her favourite, she was obsessed although he said she never came across as that, he thought she was someone just out for what she could get.
My H’s workplace is full of vulgar banter, it’s normal there and he thought he’d fit right in. AP would ask for lifts home and sometimes after a full shift of banter and stories of her sexual adventures she’d had with random men on a weekend one thing let to another and they’d end up kissing, a full apology would be issued by my H and she’d be avoided and ignored for months then she would eventually cycle back around and say ‘hi’ and Mr no balls couldn’t sit in the discomfort of ignoring so he’d say ‘hi’ back.
Rinse repeat.
Now…..when my H would pull away and say he couldn’t do that because he’s married blah blah blah, AP would agree and he’d say you won’t tell anyone, this is between us, please don’t tell anyone at work, this was a mistake etc, AP would agree with everything said and tell him don’t worry about it, forget about it, it’s no big deal - a mistake. H believed her!, I mean why would you not believe such vermin, of course someone who chases a married man is 100% trustworthy.
As far as my H was aware nobody at work knew, his secret was safe. What he didn’t know is that the whole 2.5 year period she was making TikTok videos about him, me and even one about our son.
Shortly after DD I obviously needed to find this person that my husband had confessed to having a weird on off kissing bullshit affair with 3 years prior and I found her TikTok, I actually contacted her through TikTok and found this archive of treasure from their encounters, some of these videos were 5 years old.
I made my H sit and watch every video, I asked him what he thought, he said there’s no mention of my name, he was in complete denial. I told him everyone at work knew exactly what had gone on back then because of her videos, the ones that say oh we kissed but he keeps saying we’re just friends and I love a married man and his wife must be blind and I’m old enough to have him or his son (she made that one 2 days after our sons 18th birthday, must have been stalking my facebook). My husband was adamant nobody knew until I pulled up the comments on the videos 😂 his face!, his colleagues had commented and put emojis on some of the videos, colleagues he’s known for over 20 years that he respected, I said can you imagine what they thought when they saw those videos of her mocking you, your wife and your child and you were sat having a coffee in the canteen with her?, I know what I’d think.
He feels angry with himself and humiliated because the reason he tried to keep her sweet was because she wouldn’t tell anyone, this in turn allowed him to fall to temptation again and he would then again be worried she’d tell his manager, colleagues or try and contact me.
Which brings me to my question, my H didn’t have contact with AP outside work hours, no socials etc but how could he have been so stupid that he never checked her social media over? It’s so stupid it’s almost laughable but at the same time shocking because I was unaware just how foolish my H could be. It’s almost as if when someone has an A all common sense and essential vitamins and minerals vacate the premises.
My H main focus after he messed up was to
1) make sure his wife never found out
2) make sure his boss never found out (keep his job)
3) make sure his reputation stayed in tact.
He left his job, ruined his reputation and broke his wife’s heart 🙄 seriously lacking nutrients, what a lesson.
