SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello everyone at SI, I just wanted to check in and provide an update. I check in at SI from time to time, and try to reflect on the knowledge I read here.
For context, my A was 13 years ago in college, and I disclosed 9 months ago. ExH also disclosed his own infidelities, and we are divorcing.
I have continued practicing radical honesty and integrity for 9 months. I have built myself from the ground up, I have outlined my values, and every action I take is aligned with those values. I vow to myself and to others to continue living this way the best I can for the rest of my life.
I grieve my relationship. I still experience bouts of shame, bouts of extreme guilt and sadness that I hurt my ex. I will always regret my horrible choices, and I will always regret keeping the secret for so long.
I graduated the psychological trauma center after 5 months, so I am back to work full time and in therapy twice per week. Therapy is long-term focused on my core beliefs, fears, and issues from being raised in an abusive neglectful addict household.
I grieve not having a mother- I have never done that before. Another thing I buried.
ExH and I are on good terms, we maintain distance and low contact for healing. His family have been incredibly understanding, supportive, and loving.
My days are filled with work, therapy, reading self help books, listening to podcasts about infidelity and relationships and growth, knitting, and spending time with my friends and cats.
I’m trying my best to feel comfortable and satisfied with solitude. My partner’s love, affection, and support is severely missed, but I do my best to focus on the present and what I can do moving forward.
I know my situation is a bit different from most on here since I am not with my BS, so sometimes I’m not sure what to "do next". I suppose continuing to sit with discomfort and sadness and continue improving myself is all I can do.
I want to express my gratitude and love to everyone reading this- if you are here, you have experienced great pain. I send healing thoughts to you all.