SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I love my wife. Together 10 years. Married 5.
Things were great in the beginning. But as time went on, we had a daughter, and we became more house mates that had sex once or twice every year quarter. Bickering has always existed between us.
Last year we my wife got pregnant for the 2nd time. Which was something we wanted. Then a few months later panic and stress filled my wife regarding money, how will we cope. This sent her into a very distant and grumpy person. On top of that, she no longer wanted me to kiss, touch let alone have sex with her. She felt undesirable, and began pushing me away.
On several occasions I was told to go and find someone who will want you (although I believe she was bluffing, it put the question in my head) maybe I do still have it to attract someone else!?
So I went onto Fabswingers and had a snoop about. I was amazed! I had several women approaching me over the course of 8 months. Then I met Sarah. We went for a dinner and then had an overnight at the restaurant. This was the moment I panicked.

Sarah and I got on far to well for two people looking for casual FWBs it felt fresh and completely natural together. This was Early march. Since then we have met up several times, for lunch, dinner, overnights and just general chit chat getting to know eachother.

My wife and I had a sit down talk and I explained that although I still love her. I don't know if we're both In Love with eachother. I feel disconnected from my wife. I imagine it's just because it's new and exciting with Sarah that it feels this way. But what can I do!? I love my wife, and I crave the time I get with Sarah.

I can't leave my wife. She's pregnant and doesn't deserve this.
I never intended for it to get like this.

Neither woman knows of the other. Sarah believes I am married but separated.

Unknown to me until recently, Sarah has also gone through Terrible relationships in the past and is slow to trust. Yet with me she says she feels completely safe and secure.

I am so stuck. I want them to fuse together and become one person.

The best thing to do is get into therapy and go no contact with your affair partner.

Once she finds out the truth she isn’t going to want anything to do with you. You think continuing to see her will make her feel safe which in reality all you are doing is leading her on, allowing her to fall for you under dishonest circumstances. This is never going to result in anything that can last.

Therapy can help you sort yourself out so you can work on what you want to ultimately do about your marriage and prepare to confess.

You say you wish you could merge the two women together, which you know is impossible, instead you are setting yourself up to lose both.

I can tell you from experience that affairs are a lot of smoke and mirrors, some of what you feel is artificial as it’s infused by the circumstances of the affair. In reality, what you are doing to both of them is incredibly destructive to you as well. This is not the ma you want to be, and until you learn how to walk in the steps of the man you want to be, you are a danger to all romantic partners.

I know this sounds harsh but you need to wake up.

I know. I know how damaging and destructive this is. To everyone involved.
I just really don't know what's best anymore.
I know something has to happen.

If kids were not in this equation, I'd leave. But they are, and I can't.

I really thought post 30s life would get easier.

It didn't sound harsh to me. I need to hear these things. I just have no idea how to decide, or what path is the least damaging to these two women. And children..