BraveandBroken (original poster new member #87327) posted at 7:51 AM on Monday, May 11th, 2026
I am still in recovery from two major surgeries and I discovered my husband's affair in the middle of all of that. What's worse is he will not stop seeing this woman while I am healing and I know exactly where he is going when he leaves. He has basically left all household duties on me and the kids. What's worse is his attitude. He is so mean and critical of me everyday. I have tried to keep the peace but I can see that is making him worse. Him spending mother's day with her is what broke me yesterday yet again. I really need advice on how to carry on in such an emotional harmful environment
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:40 PM on Monday, May 11th, 2026
I'm so sorry.
Where are you in recovering from surgery? Are you mobile? Can you afford household assistance?
What's your support system? Close to helpful family members? If you're far from family, can you take the kids and visit home?
We can provide feedback and other support if we know more about your situation.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
BraveandBroken (original poster new member #87327) posted at 4:56 PM on Monday, May 11th, 2026
I am recovering well, unfortunately my family is hours away and I don't have friends in south jersey. I have to deal with this alone. It will make me better
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 6:50 PM on Monday, May 11th, 2026
It is hard enough to recover from a physical injury or situation but to add another traumatic event such as the affair on top of it seems almost impossible.
You understand the cheater is blaming you for "standing in his way" of his supposed love affair.
Your only option is the hard 180. Do as little as possible for him. No laundry or meals or errands or anything. It is the only way to protect yourself now.
Are your children able to pitch in and help you until you are fully healed?
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
