SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hey recently joined the club so sorry if I dont have the acronyms down yet.

Ive had a wonderful blessed 2 and a half years of marriage until July 8th 2026. I was feeding our son breakfast and my wife came downstairs obviously upset. After breaking down and a bit of pushing she finally told me while crying that she cheated on me before our marriage. She finally told me who it was and I immediately had my entire life fall apart. I know this man, I worked with this man (we were in the same industry). And he was always so nice to me and I knew that they communicated allot for work for years and thought it might be getting to the point of being inappropriate a few times and got in fights with her about it. She quit her job to be a stay at home mom 6 months ago and well congratulations she got pregnant about 3 months ago. So I have a partner who cheated on me twice had full blown intercourse but apparently she can't remember if they did it the second time or not 8 months apart. He lives in a different state far away which helps me have some trust that it wasn't a frequent affair.

I was absolutely gutted, the amount of emotions I was spiraling through and emotions I have never been exposed to. Its been an absolute nightmare. I didn't sleep for 36 hours and felt wide awake. I couldn't eat I could barely think. My entire life collapsed before my eyes. I got a therapist to take me in yesterday and that was helpful.

The hardest part is not having anyone to talk to. I don't want to put our business out to friends or family because of two reasons. 1. Its incredibly embarrassing and 2 I need to make the decision of staying and reconciliation or divorce. This is my absolute worst nightmare. Most of the help content are from women no offense but I need a mans perspective to help at all. Anyway this is just my story and I can't believe its happening and if anyone wants to reach out I'd welcome it or any good resources from a males perspective that would be great.

First, this is ALL on her, you did NOTHING to cause this. She is broken. The only positive is that she confessed, you didn't find out. Seems like 99% of affairs are discovered by the BS's (betrayed spouse). Sounds like her guilt was too much for her to keep inside which is a good thing.

Now, you need to focus on your well being, first and foremost. I strongly recommend you get tested for STDs. Don't ask your wife if you need to, tell her you are doing it, and be honest with your doctor why.

Are you concerned the baby may not be yours? If there's even a remote chance do a DNA test. You do not want to raise another man's child.

Talking with an IC that is trained to help with trauma will help you greatly. Being able to speak openly and freely without fear of judgment is incredibly helpful.

Just an FYI, there seems to be a pattern wherein WS's only confess as much as they think they need to in order to placate the BS. It's possible there is more to the situation.

If this guy has a partner she needs to know what her man is doing. She has a right to know. I waited five months before reaching out to the wife of my wife's AP and I regret every day I waited.

We all understand how devastating this is. You have found a great place for advice and support.

ETA: Do not sweep this under the rug. Do not let her do so. Doing so may provide a temporary relief but when this resurfaces, and it will, the damage will be much worse

[This message edited by WB1340 at 4:27 PM, Saturday, July 11th]