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whatlysbeneath ( member #32665) posted at 9:50 AM on Monday, April 8th, 2013
D3,
I just read all 5 pages...wow!
Your plan is to "drive 4 hours" today to visit the other BS and return home before the older children return from school and your WS returns from work?
If the other BS is 4 hours away that's 8 hours of travel with an infant, not counting the time required to actually talk to the other BS. Did I miss something? Is it a 4 hour round trip?
One of the most dificult aspects of "fighting infidelity fire with fire" is be very careful not to compromise your integrity in the process.
As BSs we sometimes have to keep secrets from the one person in the world we should never have to keep secrets from, know what I mean?
As an honest spouse what you are doing now, not disclosing sources,contacting other BS etc, feels very unnatural.
However, telling the the other BS is the absolute RIGHT thing to do!!
You are incredibly strong. You mentioned speaking with a pastor so you must be a person of faith. I am a person of faith as well and faith, along with SI have been the two main sources of strength thru this nightmare.
You will be okay, your child will be okay. Your WS will only be okay if he chooses to be.
Sending you thoughts and prayers.
[This message edited by whatlysbeneath at 3:53 AM, April 8th (Monday)]
Me: BH
Her: WW
Together 18 years
M 17
D day 2010
4 young children
Every secret in a marriage is a lie...I'm tired of being lied too.
disappointed3 (original poster new member #38877) posted at 2:18 PM on Monday, April 8th, 2013
Whatlysbeneath...
It is 4 hours one way. I won't be home before everyone else gets home but I will be home before I have dinner ready at 6. My older kids are 18 & 11 and pretty independent. They keep busy with homework, friends and other stuff. What I meant was they'll never know I left town. When I get home at 5 or so they'll think I was just out running errands.
Getting to Happy ( member #35200) posted at 3:15 PM on Monday, April 8th, 2013
Hey D, I am glad that you are taking some action. Your head must be ready to pop from all of this stealthy sh*t!
You are doing the right thing for your marriage and your family.
Blow this creepy fantasy out of the water!
Godspeed my dear. 
WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown
sadtoo ( member #2027) posted at 3:29 PM on Monday, April 8th, 2013
Thinking of you today. Good luck.
brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 1:44 AM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013
Hope today went well. Sending good vibes your way.
Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
Betrayed67 ( member #38134) posted at 2:14 AM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013
Hope everything goes well. Take care.
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
openedupmyeyes ( member #27871) posted at 3:20 AM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013
{{{{D3}}}}} I'm sending positive mojo. I hope you found ow's BS , gave him proof and made it home in time. Strength to you. Keep posting. There is support here.
Me:55 BS
Him:55 FWH Trying to make me a believer?
Years married:37
:03-01-10: The day I learned the truth
Kids:Daughters 4 all grown and married.
Reconciliation is hard.
Really freakin' hard.
Faithful w/Love ( member #33128) posted at 2:17 PM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013
How are you today? Thinking of you.
BS(ME)41 WH(HIM)38
DD 21 and DS 16
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
pewpewpew ( member #38116) posted at 8:24 PM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013
BS - 32
DDay 1: July 2012 - EA with COW
DDay 2: March 2015; same COW
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, pack your shit and get out.
Fool me twice, now what?!?!
MCGar ( member #20928) posted at 10:11 PM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013
I've been thinking about this situation.
First I am a little worried just because the OP did drive 4 away with no one knowing where she was going into an unknown situation. I do hope the D3 does update just so we know she's ok.
Next, I just wanted to advise D3 to keep your cards close to your vest. Get your ducks in a row and be careful. Your husband's actions of being first silent then condescending and then expecting you to swallow this insane coverup story in order to retain his career does not bode well for dealing with him. He looks very desperate while insistent on being in charge. Just be careful with how you handle him. He looks like he wants to be very sneaky with you.
Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 11:17 PM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013
I don't usually get worried...but in this situation I'm starting to worry. 
Praying for you disappointed that your WH hasn't let his anger rule him.
"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*
hopefulmother ( member #38790) posted at 11:52 PM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013
We are hoping to hear from you soon. Hope you are okay. Everyone is following your situation and is anxious about that meeting. Stay safe.
Me-BW 44
WH-44 zugzwang
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends since 1993
Married 2004 with 2 children
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.
sadtoo ( member #2027) posted at 11:49 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013
confused82402 ( member #34616) posted at 11:59 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013
OMG. Where is she???
I'm wondering the same thing! I just read this thread for the first time yesterday and have been waiting for an update....I'm feeling worried about her
Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012
~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)
brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 2:30 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10
bunkerette ( member #13544) posted at 2:25 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
I read this too and hope everything is alright....
Faithful w/Love ( member #33128) posted at 4:27 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Really worried now! I am praying you are okay.
BS(ME)41 WH(HIM)38
DD 21 and DS 16
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"
sinsof thefather ( member #29295) posted at 5:16 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Really worried now! I am praying you are okay.
Me too.
...second star to the right and straight on till morning.
Getting to Happy ( member #35200) posted at 5:41 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Really worried now! I am praying you are okay.
Me three!
WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown
still2suspicious ( member #31722) posted at 6:22 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Really worried now! I am praying you are okay
count me four!!
Praying for you D3.
Me: BSHim: WHDDay: LTEA Every storm runs out of rain - Gary Allen
D final 2/23
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