SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

IIWY = If I were you.

Sharkman – Usually when people decide to separate or divorce it’s all nice and equal, but once it gets real it generally turns into a hate-storm where people argue over valuation, debt, division of assets… IMHO the definition of an amicable divorce is basically one where you don’t necessarily feel an urge to strangle your soon-to-be ex.

Hurtpenguin has placed himself in a very precarious situation: They aren’t married, the income and assets are in her name (and probably the debt too) and if they were to separate he would hardly have a legal leg to stand on.

Theoretically she could move him out in a week or so and move OM in and he couldn’t do much about it. Chances are that since they aren’t married there won’t be any spousal support, and since HP might have a hard time showing income potential custody would favor her… All in all it’s a sh@tty situation for HP.

From a purely business and legal POV the quickest and smartest option HP has to improve his situation is marriage. Heck… I would even suggest he get married NOW, like TODAY, and have the ceremony later. It’s not romantic, it’s not exciting but from a legal and financial POV it’s the best thing.

And YES HP – Get an attorney to explain carefully what a marriage would mean regarding assets you/she already has.

What I was thinking was investigating legal options prior to the marriage idea. For example, some states have Common Law Marriage where he may already be protected.

It's worth a discussion with a lawyer is all I was getting at.

HP,

Many thanks for the update. I am glad to see that things have improved, and that both of you are feeling so positive. It sounds like your fiancé lost her way in the relationship, and that everything that happened recently has refocused her on it. Marriage and a new job, maybe even a relocation, could be a new start for you, which would be a good way to make a break with the affair.

I wish you and your fiancé well with this, HP.