A lot has happened in the last couple days.
To those of you who suggested using a VAR, thank you. It worked better than I could have ever hoped.
I placed the VAR in my wife’s car the night before her trip to try out some new pianos. She was to leave at 7:00AM the next morning, drive two hours to the music store, spend a couple hours trying out various pianos, grab a quick lunch, and return to my work location, where she would drop off her car and drive my Jeep home (we’re trying to sell her car and a work colleague wanted to test drive it). She hates driving my Jeep on long trips.
I removed the VAR and listened to its recordings in my office. My wife talks hands-free when driving, so I could hear both sides of phone conversations. She made a call to her sister that morning (her sister lives in the town my wife visited on her recent trip). Conversation quickly turned to “that night”, and sis asked if she had “told Wiley yet”, to which my wife said she hadn’t because she was still too apprehensive. Sis said (paraphrasing) “You idiot. You two have the marriage everybody wants. You were made for each other. Don’t f--- it up by withholding this. You did nothing wrong. But Wiley will find out eventually and he’ll be suspicious that you intended to hide this from him. I know you’re afraid, but don’t wait. It’ll be OK.”
At that point my wife began crying so hard she had to pull over. They talked a while longer and my wife said she’d tell me that night. Sis encouraged her not to worry.
My wife is all about peace, love, music (piano), children, family, and dogs. She’s not into politics, tech, social media (other than limited Facebook interaction with her other-coast family). And she hates confrontation.
When she got back on the road, she began praying out loud. I don’t think I’ve ever been so humbled in all my life. She thanked God for “the best husband and protector ever, and the best marriage ever”, and a lot of other flattering things that made me get up and close my office door so I could cry myself. And I don’t cry. But I think I cried more tears than in my whole life.
About 30 minutes later she called me. It was strange hearing myself on the VAR. She was upbeat and said she was sorry for seeming down lately, and she wanted to spend a nice evening together and just talk. No TV, no piano, no phone, just us. I said of course, and I’ll bring home dinner and wine.
I decided to blow off a late afternoon meeting and go home right then. When I got there she gave me a very warm hug and kiss, but looked a little nervous and said she needed to tell me something.
We sat down and she told me about her ex-fiance’s texts and call attempts, and her call to him (the 24 minute call). She called him to blow him off for good. She said he sounded drunk or high and began crying and mentioned not wanting to live anymore. She didn’t know what to do. I can imagine her panicking afraid he would commit suicide. She suggested he see a pastor, councilor, whatever. But she was firm that she did not want to see him or talk to him ever again.
He kept playing the “woe is me” card, and she eventually hung up on him. She thought that was the end of it. But that night as she was leaving her mother’s house to visit her sister, she noticed a car sitting across the street. It was him. He got out of the car and walked toward her and called to her, and she ran back in the house and called the police. He was arrested for being drunk and disorderly.
She told him in the presence of the police that she would file charges against him if he ever did this again. Her mother and sister witnessed this. He texted and tried to call some the next day, and she sent him one text that said she said everything there was to say to him that night. She hasn’t heard from him since.
She was afraid to tell me for fear I would hop on a plane (I would have), and confront the guy (I might have). Also, we’re both visiting there this summer for a week, and she was afraid I would use that as a chance to confront the guy (I might have).
I asked why she seemed down for a few weeks before her trip. She said that since our son had moved off to college last fall, she has struggled to move on to a new role, so to speak. She had planned to increase her music teaching to more students, but that hasn’t worked out yet. She has an uncommon passion for teaching music to young children, and wants to contribute to the family by earning some income (we don’t need it).
We talked until she felt she had told me everything. Then I said I had something to tell her as well. I was honest about picking up on her down mood lately, and looking on our phone bill and seeing the strange number (his), and identified it. And that I recovered the deleted texts, and placed a VAR. And that I heard her conversation with her sister, and her prayer. And because of that I truly believe her.
She was not upset in the least. To the contrary, she was ecstatic that I believed her and that there was nothing between us. The only thing she asked in return was that I promise not to get myself into trouble by confronting this guy. I agreed.
The rest of the night was wonderful. About the only thing we didn’t do was sleep.
Thank you all for your help. I really appreciate it. I feel the best I’ve ever felt.
BTW, I later told this to my brother, who is sort of a PI wannabe, and he confirmed that the guy was indeed arrested at my mother-in-law’s house that evening.
