My story, DG:
Ex lied to me about taking a business trip, and I put the recorder in the car because I wanted the truth. When he returned I got it from the car and took the dog on a walk and listened for a long time. I was deeply hurt, yet relieved to know for certain. No more doubt, no more of his lies to me.
When I returned from listening to the tape I didn't say anything, I just kept my distance. Ex was watching me closely and pounced on me saying, what is wrong with you tonight? You won't talk to me.
I looked at him squarely and said, I know, Mr. Salt. He said you know what. I said I know everything. I didn't tell him I knew about their conversations I just reported that I knew he was with mow and wasn't where he said he was and that he'd been lying. He asked me how I knew and I said that was none of his concern. I said I am done and asked him to go pack his bags.
He kept asking me how I knew and I said it doesn't matter how and that it was none of his concern. He asked if I used a PI. I said no. He asked If I installed a gps tracker in his car. I said no. Interesting it never occurred to him I might have recorded him so he never asked and I never told him.
I went downstairs and watched a movie with D. He went beserk in the car tearing it apart, trying to find a gps tracker or whatever. Of course there was nothing there and I enjoyed watching him literally tear the car apart, but find nothing.
A few days later he called and pressed again about a gps tracker or a PI. I said I did neither which was true. He said that he had taken the car to Car Toys to see if he could have it swept and a gps tracker discovered if one was there. They told him yes but it would cost $1000. Lol.
I still laugh about that. Even to this day it makes me laugh.
I needed to do it for my own peace of mind. I knew what they said to each other about me. I packed his belongings in matching luggage (black garbage bags) and put them in the garage, and changed the locks on the house.
And I never looked back....but I cried and cried from the loss.
And the story is even more funny.....I left a part out but here it is:
It was scary and stressful doing the stealth thing in getting the recorder in and out of the car without him knowing. Not so easy ya know. So I was trying to figure out how I was going to get it in the car as he was leaving for his "business" trip. Fortunately at the last minute he parked behind my car and blocked me in the driveway. Seizing my opportunity I jumped into his car and took off to the store....’to get a movie’....I tested the recorder, yep worked perfectly. Shaking, I put it above in between the driver and passenger seat where the sunglasses box is. Ex never used it. Risky but it was the ideal location.
When I got back he was freaked out and panicky, where did I go, why did I take his car??? I said, well, you blocked my car and I wanted to get a movie. Is there a problem that I took your car?? Oh no, no it's alright. (Can you imagine this exchange? Me studying him like a bug and him just trying to maintain composure).
So he took off for 2 days and we spoke on the phone like we usually did. Hi honey, how are you he says. I miss you and I love you he says. I will try to get back early he says. Sweetness and light.
So he gets back. Now how am I going to get the recorder out of the car I wonder? Then I hit on an idea. I took my bike to the shop so it would be fixed and ready for me to ride it for the summer. It was ready so I said, can we go pick up my bike from the shop? He says why sure darling! Then he stops at the gas station and goes inside to get a diet coke. Quick! Grab the recorder I think! So I grab it out of the box and throw it into my bag. Whew! Did he see me??? No, I don't think so. I am a nervous wreck!!
My purse is in my lap and we get home. We are talking in the car and we turn the engine off, but don't get out of the car. In the background I can hear something, sounds like the radio. No, the car is off, there is no radio. Ex says, what is that sound? We both stop. I say I don't know, then it hits me, somehow the recorder has gone off in my purse and it is playing back ex and mow's conversations!!! Lol.
I jump out of the car and say, I don't hear anything and somehow manage to turn it off. Go into the house, run upstairs, grab the recorder and the dog and say I'm taking him for a walk. And then I listen. I hear him call me and talk sweetly and lovingly to me. Then I hear him talk to my ex-friend mow and the both of them plot against me. I hear them make fun of me because I believed his lies. I hear them worry, but wait, did I know something? Should they cancel their mid-week tryst? Where was her H (also my good friend), was he following them to report on them and tell me? So they drove over to his house…nope he is there and not following them. The whole evening spent worrying about mowh and me discovering them. Then they went somewhere to spend the night together. Wow. My universe tilts on edge.
Why did I put myself through all of this ridiculousness? This pain? I could have just told him he wasn't being transparent and stopped the cat and mouse game. I did it because I needed to know. I wanted to know beyond a doubt. I was tired of being told they were just friends BS. I was tired of his games. And it gave me the courage to throw him out for the second time (false reconciliation) and really and truly not look back.
Looking back on it now, I had all of the information I needed at the time. Setting up the recording was really to confront myself with the truth. I wanted to believe him. I did what I needed to do, what was right for me. It was empowering because it enabled me to release myself. No more doubt, it freed me, and it broke me at the same time.
Mowh told everyone about them. Mow lost every single friend but one. Ex lost every single friend but two. I got the house, the dog, and a new life. And it's OK DG.
