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PortugueseMan ( member #65818) posted at 6:37 PM on Tuesday, September 4th, 2018
BS ONLY
[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:54 AM, September 19th (Wednesday)]
Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 7:54 PM on Tuesday, September 4th, 2018
RB
Time to get out there and start meeting new women. You can keep it casual at first but the next great true love of your life is out there. You just have to put yourself in a position to meet her.
I’m not sure I understand what you’re doing these days, but if you have time take some classes where women hang out. Try cooking or dance or group exercise classes.
Or go volunteer for an organization, like a pet shelter or one that goes into hospitals or one that helps kids (lots of single moms out there looking for good men).
Finally to you have a therapist to work thru your emotions and pain? Please find one if not. They can help you in the down times.
You know she will never be trustworthy again for you, so time to look forward rather than back.
I wish you well. Stay strong.
fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.
RickyBobby (original poster member #56171) posted at 11:38 PM on Tuesday, September 4th, 2018
What am I doing now? Train a 2-4 hours a day, overseeing my renos, job hunting and socializing. I'm definitely 'out there' at lots of different events, dining with friends and meeting many new people. I'm not really that interested in dating, and I'm certainly not interested in dating anyone with children, but I'm certainly not actively avoiding women at all! Just haven't liked/been attracted to any so far.
Did the therapy while I was in Asia, did it for a bit here, but feel I've gone as far as I can with that right now. Plus it's a huge expense when I'm unemployed.
I have no interest in being with my ex, the thought doesn't even enter my mind, but I do miss her enormously.
Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 1:47 AM on Wednesday, September 5th, 2018
@Ricky
I just read your whole story, I know your XWW never really said why she did what she did, I have a theory that she was desperate to have a child before her biological clock ran out, after 13 years of M she probably thought you could not/did not want to give her that child, that's why I think she saw the need to "break up" so that she could try her hardest with OM and that's why she went back and got pregnant last year, stupid reason/theory but I think that at least has some to do with her choice to cheat. Anyway "not your monkey not your circus" anymore, it will take a while to overcome those feelings for her, after all 14 years of memories/history together is a long time, but it will get easier with time, hang in there.
Have you started dating again ? Good luck and keep updating from time to time like you've been doing, it will help others in the future.
wordsofwisdom ( member #54083) posted at 2:53 AM on Wednesday, September 5th, 2018
Ricky, when you find a job, your life will feel much better again and your nostalgic memories of the past will not linger. Keep trying, you can do it.
One day discovered my wife chasing her old sweetheart. Wished her good luck and moved on to better things and people.
Divorced: Jan 2010
SorrowfulMoon ( member #59925) posted at 11:51 PM on Wednesday, September 5th, 2018
Who really knows but Buster123's theory does seem to be the only rational explanation of her irrational behavior.
Even if it is true she could have done it in a much better, less cruel way.
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