SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Jduff,

Oh she knows. Don't worry about that!

Yes, change can be good.

All the best on your return home.

An update. House is now sold, though she dragged her heels on signing the paperwork and continuously asked me to 'give us a another chance', 'let's go see a therapist', etc. I honestly think it would have been easier for me if she hadn't changed her mind. It seems so easy to just say ok, let's give it a another shot. But I know that it would be me doing all the work, when she's done none. And I'm not putting myself out there again, no matter how much I love who she used to be and how incredibly lonely I am most of the time. But sometimes I really want to.

Quit my job yesterday and gave notice on my apartment. Scary as hell. Having some panicky moments. It really brought home how I'm, at least physically, putting my past life and my past wife behind me. Two months from now I'll be on a different continent and I don't have a job there. But I guess when I have to find something I will?

A change will do you good. You'll be fine once you've fully put this behind you.

My Decree Nisi has been granted by the courts. So now there should be about 6 weeks until the divorce is finalised. However, during this period she can STILL contest the divorce - I'm not sure if she knows this and I'm certainly not telling her!

Have my parents staying with me right now which is nice. Someone to talk to and Mom has been great helping me organise/throw out things and deal with movers coming by to give quotes.

Wife was taken aside by her CEO last week and told she needs to step up her game or he's going to have to let her go. I guess she's been pretty depressed and unproductive the past 6 months. Of course, though she holds equity in the firm and it's a small shop, she has never told anyone what she had done or was going through. But not my circus, not my monkey.

Trying to look forward to a clean start.

Good for you Ricky Bobby. Stay focused on your future and your healing. Your going to come out of all this just fine. Stay strong.

Thanks longforgotten

I screwed this up a bit. Now I have the Decree Nisi I have to wait 6 weeks (during which she can still contest the divorce). Once that period is over I can then apply for the Decree Absolute, which then takes a few weeks for the courts to process.....and then I am single again. So may be divorced before the end of the year.

Still trying to decide what to do with my wedding band, thinking throwing it off the top of my favourite ski hill.

If you’re going to do that, instead sell it and give the proceeds to a worthy charity.

I’m glad you’re finding your path back to happiness.

Thanks for keeping us updated.

Stevesn, that does make more sense though doesn't quite have the dramatic style I was hoping for!

Have the ring melted down and made into a bullet. Put the bullet on a gold chain and wear it around your neck to remind you of the bullet you dodged. I do wish you well.

anoldlion,

That's pretty good, lol. Thanks and hope you are well.

Moved out of 'our' apartment mid-December, so all my worldly possessions are in a container somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. I'll be living out of a suitcase for the next few months until I can find somewhere to live. Living on a work colleague's couch until February 4 when I fly back to Canada. Going to do some skiing and try and find a job there.

And I am now legally divorced. Yay me. There is zero chance of me ever being married again. I may date at some point in the future, but not interested in that now.

My friends and family have been amazing in their support. They've shown me that, though I somehow loved a woman who didn't deserve it, my choice in friends is excellent. I even had a friend fly 14 hours each way to spend the weekend with me (combo DDay and 10th wedding anniversary weekend).

So continuing forward, but still a lot of anger, disappointment and sadness. But seems less than a few months ago so that's progress.

Hope you're all doing as well as is possible!

Good for you brother. You are now divorced and on your own. Yes, take your time to date in the future, give yourself time to heal.

It’s great to hear that the process is done. Has xW left you alone now that the D is final?

Good luck on your new adventure. Hope you find happiness in whatever form you want. M

Take care.

Thanks everyone!

Stevesn,

She relentlessly tried to get me to meet her for dinner before I flew away for Xmas. She was "scared and sad I was going" and "wanted just a few more hours with her best friend". Ya, friends don't do the things she did to me and our marriage. I didn't respond.

Yesterday I sent her an email with the divorce notice saying, "Congrats, you're now single". She responded with sad emoji and "my heart just stopped". I said back, "Mine broke a long time ago when the women I thought was the love of my life betrayed and lied to me. K thx bye"

I still have some financial things to finalise with her due to me paying tax in three countries, but that's just business. Won't be any other contact that before I leave. But having drinks with her brother tonight - I've stayed good friends with him and his wife (she thinks my ex is a complete flake).

Happy New Year, Ricky Bobby! I wish you the best of luck and happiness for the future! Thanks for updating.

You’re doing great man. I do think you need to address your new determination against commitment.

Put it this way - you are a victim of abuse and that abuse is causing you to change who you are. That specifically gives the abuser power. Do not give her the power of changing your chance of being in a happy relationship. Happy relationships do exist.

Great update RickyBobby,

I wish you well in your new beginnings, and

fingers are all tightly crossed on the job front.

Try to ignore your exWW, and remind yourself of your "mouth-noise" theory.

Good luck, and keep posting

MOB

Sharkman,

I hear you. But that's not really what I meant. I simply am not going to give someone access to 50% of my assets again. I don't think not wanting to marry should preclude me from having a happy relationship in the future, as distant as that feels to me right now.