SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am not familiar with most country music but heard this years ago and love the chorus.

It’s a great day to be alive

I know the sun is still shining

When I close my eyes

There’s some hard times

In the neighborhood

But why can’t every day

Be just this good.

Travis Tritt

Such a happy day for you.

[This message edited by Cooley2here at 6:46 PM, February 28th (Thursday)]

I believe this is the best story I've ever read on SI. All of the things that bothered me on your behalf, Wiley, were answered for you. Wonderful. Actually I'm jealous of how this turned out for you but very happy for you, too. Live and love well.

If there's a piece of music that she's wanted to learn, I'd suggest having the piece sitting on the piano when you surprise her with the piano - I always wanted to play a particular Russian composer's concerto - especially the second movement, but 69 measures have always tripped me up. It requires a grand piano for practice in order to get the speed and articulation muscle memory developed.

That does a couple things - gets her well into a transition activity to replace the usual routine with your son, as well as something that brings her into the home to reframe the home as the empty nest feeling tries to kick in, it will already have a changed feeling for her before that transition happens.

[This message edited by k8la at 6:57 PM, February 28th (Thursday)]

Love the outcome.

Love the piano.

All very heartwarming to us cynics

Communication is the thing. She needs to trust your good sense. Her failing to tell you could have cost you both dear.

In the end it has fortunately strengthened your love for each other. She is a very lucky lady to have such an understanding husband and awesome sister.

A happy ending is hard to come by around here. Does the heart good. I'm very happy it worked out in your favor.

Great news. Good luck to you both

It is great outcomes like this that give me hope that there are strong marriages still out there untouched by infidelity. WileyC, your woman is one amazing and special lady. I'm very glad this did not turn out to be an affair of any kind. It is challenges like these that make marriages better than they were before.

Yep, that is what I expected, from your story it sounded like she was a good woman put in a crappy situation. Should you now admit that you had concerns and doubted her? Think about how she would feel about you if she ever tripped over this site. Either you tell her or you delete all posts. I would not be happy if I was above reproach and my significant other never talked to me about my concerns but shared them with everyone else on the planet (i.e. this website).

Sorry, just calling it as I see it. I think I would recommend you delete posts and not tell. It is understandable you had doubts because so many cheat. But given you sat back and watched with no communication except with strangers while she dangled and struggled with the mess this ex thrust upon her, it makes you seem petty and non-trusting. Shit that sucks to say as a betrayed. But the signs were there all along that she was above board (I called it) so you either fess up to not trusting her when you should of or you delete your posts. Other ex's have found this site. I say spare her knowing that not only did her ex blow up her life, but that also almost blew up her marriage.

Edited: well I'm an ass. I was so caught up with my own emotions at learning his wife was simultaneously dealing with a stalker and a jealous husband that I failed to see he fessed up about mistrusting her and the var. Being betrayed is emotionally crushing but being stalked is also bad and can be really scary.

I hope they work on communicating so he can be her rock to lean on without her worrying about him getting physical. Having been stalked and not feeling I could tell anyone without their deciding I had to hide and change my life because of the stalkers actions I reacted emotionally and got angry. Again, I am an ass. BTW, I really want to delete this post, I'm not leaving it because i am defending it at all, but because life doesn't come with a do over or delete button.

[This message edited by otter at 9:00 AM, March 2nd (Saturday)]

Congratulations Wiley, I'm really happy it turned out this way, like you said the VAR turned out to be 100% confirmation of what happened "that night", consider yourself a very lucky man, your wife has strong boundaries and told OM to back off immediately, I hope this experience brings you two closer and that if something like this ever happens again, instead of hiding it from you, you're the first person she tells, other than this, you can put this to rest. Thank you for sharing your experience with us internet strangers.

Such a breath of fresh air to hear a story like this.

Did i miss it? What was the reasoning behind her being distant BEFORE the trip?

But given you sat back and watched with no communication except with strangers while she dangled and struggled with the mess this ex thrust upon her, it makes you seem petty and non-trusting. Shit that sucks to say as a betrayed. But the signs were there all along that she was above board (I called it) so you either fess up to not trusting her when you should of or you delete your posts.

Golly. Well, here's your gold star sticker for calling it, you fidelity savant...you!

*

Oops, "wipe, Wipe, wipe" I'm sorry that actually looks like an asshole.

"Wipe, wipe, wipe" Shoot! I don't think that's helping any.

I guess that can't be helped. Just pretend it's a star and not a starfish.

You did read the part about his brother having been through infidelity, right?

I mean, like he had every reason to believe that his wife's behavior mimicked that of his brother's WW's behavior and....ahhhhhh what's the point. I'm trying to talk up to an expert here.

Yep, that is what I expected, from your story it sounded like she was a good woman put in a crappy situation. Should you now admit that you had concerns and doubted her? Think about how she would feel about you if she ever tripped over this site. Either you tell her or you delete all posts. I would not be happy if I was above reproach and my significant other never talked to me about my concerns but shared them with everyone else on the planet (i.e. this website).

Sorry, just calling it as I see it. I think I would recommend you delete posts and not tell. It is understandable you had doubts because so many cheat. But given you sat back and watched with no communication except with strangers while she dangled and struggled with the mess this ex thrust upon her, it makes you seem petty and non-trusting. Shit that sucks to say as a betrayed. But the signs were there all along that she was above board (I called it) so you either fess up to not trusting her when you should of or you delete your posts. Other ex's have found this site. I say spare her knowing that not only did her ex blow up her life, but that also almost blew up her marriage.

My, my, my....aren't we feeling all holier-than-thou today?

A great outcome, Sir. Ignore the virtue spiraling from that scold several comments up, it's naught but Monday morning quarterbacking with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight. You did exactly what needed to be done at the time, based on the extant facts. Now enjoy the serenade you're certain to receive on that new piano.

Awesome result, thanks for sharing!

It would be great to be a fly on the wall when your wife sees the piano.

Have a fantastic weekend, Wiley.

Wow, a happy ending!

Awwwww! Don't ya just love a happy ending! They're kinda rare around here...

oh,..and the piano is a nice touch. That'll be paying dividends for a long time to come!

WileyC, I am so happy for you. Things rarely turn out like this in this forum, but when they do, they are my favorite to read.

You are a very lucky man. Please buy that wonderful wife of yours a big bunch of flowers and give her a hug from from all of us BH's that weren't as blessed as you.

Sending best wishes to both of you.

[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 9:59 AM, March 1st (Friday)]