DG, thanks for the reply. Have you given IC a try?
I think most people who have been involved in such a traumatic thin need at least a couple of months of IC to truly help them navigate healing from infidelity. There are some exceptions, I suppose, that can heal as completely as possible without professional help, but they are very very very very rare, and I wouldn't risk my health, sanity, ..., by attempting to never talk to an IC about this trauma. It's similar to coping with being raped, being tortured, being mentally or physically abused, being abandoned&homeless as a young child, ... -> in the vast majority of these traumatic situations, one needs IC to help them truly heal. Sure, it might take a while to find the right IC for him/her, but it's very much worth it. And it's similar to having, for example, a broken leg -> yes, you can try to set it straight yourself or with the help of friends or forums or youtube videos, and there's a chance that you'll succeed, but why not try going to a physician?
So, if I may ask, if you haven't tried IC, what are your reasons against trying it?
Also, IC might be very beneficial for your daughters, considering everything they've been through. Have you talked to them about it? How have they been doing? While it's good that we're talking about your and your xw's well-being, I hope you will continue to talk to counsellors, friends, on forums,..., about how you can help them help themselves.
Thanks again for the reply.
Best wishes
