SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

"we need to talk at some point to figure things out "

I think she has finally seen what decisive action is and that you can move on without her.

I just hope for peace and closure for you.

You have handled things well as of late. It sucks in a bad situation but you didn't deserve that shit sandwich in the first place. Good for you in being decisive.

[This message edited by Western at 11:31 AM, January 22nd (Friday)]

Someone asked if I was able to retrieve anything further from the phone, I can't remember if I already answered this or not (apologies if this is duplicative, not a 'wreck' anymore, but am a bit scattered) no I wasn't able to, she literally was beating down the door, it's like a 30 min process to d/l all the data off the phone, when she said she was going to run to neighbors to call 911, I gave it back, that told me all I needed to know without even having to see what was on there.

Lunch with my Dad now,

I've started filling out intake form from attorney, TON of paperwork, but trying to be as proactive in these key early hours

Upside down

I am right in the middle of this crap and not offering much advice . I read you story because it keeps appearing near my thread .

I am certainly no expert here but you are doing the right thing . Her going bonkers and scratching you to get that phone back seems to be pretty conclusive to me that she knew it was over if you saw it .

Just wishing you strength . We sure as hell need it

sorry she abused you and threatened to call the cops on you, Upsidedown

Infidelity is abuse enough as it is.

As you said, it was a good ploy by you to grab the phone. Her actions alone told you 'what was up'.

Move forward, keep your head high and keep on your plan and protect yourself.

Timertoact, Bless you & wishing you strength as well.

I mentioned in here earlier that I bought an iPad & set it up with her iCloud info just a few nights ago, so that I see all of her texts now going forward (well maybe not ALL, I think it's only the ones sent while on wifi), but yeah, she's called me 25+ times today, keeps texting me saying how worried she is about ME, & just wants to make sure IM ok.... Well I look at the iPad and see her texting her sibs, about how she's just scared that I'm "closing all of her accounts & blasting her on FB" (I haven't done either of these things btw), and how 'vindictive and hateful' I am... Smh....

At least 1 of her brothers had my back, said to her 'so what, that's his right' & that it's all her fault, she should've thought of that before hand...

Well I look at the iPad and see her texting her sibs, about how she's just scared that I'm "closing all of her accounts & blasting her on FB" (I haven't done either of these things btw), and how 'vindictive and hateful' I am...

See this for exactly what it is - it is ALL about her. She is not one bit concerned about her destruction of the marriage or shattering your heart. She's worried about the fallout and how it impact her. It is all ALL about her.

And her freak out - well, standard behavior when caught red handed and when she is more concerned about her boyfriend than her husband. Years ago (God - I've been on this site for a while)on SI, I read something that really stuck with me. Someone wrote that immediately after the affair is discovered, the cheater would slash your throat if it meant keeping their happy little life of loving spouse and secret affair alive. Seemed harsh at the time but, after seeing this play out again and again, it is true. It is grand when they have it all and damn the one who takes it away.

she has a good brother. Keep everything documented. The way she leaves messages for you, she could be trying to set you up as being 'mentally ill' and get an emergency petition on you. Don't respond, keep vigilant and keep friends as witnesses. Expect the worst scenarios from her and then think ahead and prepare for what she can do.

Upsidedown,

What type of phone does she have? Just a thought but if she has an iphone and syncs it to iTunes, it creates a backup of all texts, photos, videos, etc. You can download a free reader from the internet and read everything from the computer itself.

Forgive me if this was already suggested as I haven't read all the posts.

She's covering all the bases, you just in case you'll bite, sibs just in case you won't.

Since I found out 2 weeks ago via facebook from the husband of the other woman. It has been an emotional Rollercoaster what I wish was he had the decency to give me a name and picture instead of a bunch of texts. It's hard to piece it together in your head and as a woman u want/need to know what she looks like. I have started counseling and we started marriage counseling not sure of where it will end up but heartbroken and pissed and wish I had more information. I gave the husband my number and wish he had called to really talk because now I feel lost and don't know what to believe.

By the time the husband finally busts her she is having regular sex with OM. This has been the case in 100% of the dozens of stories I've been personally involved with and here on the Internet. Like you said, I'm sure there are cases where they don't get together for sex - I've just never heard of them.

Be strong and go complete no contact with her. I guarantee that you will begin to feel better in days as soon as you stop seeing her face, hearing her voice, or reading her messages. Zero contact is the fastest, most effective way for a BH to begin healing. Listen to your lawyer regarding who to tell and when. Find a counselor and start seeing him/her. You can slow this roller-coaster down if you take control of your life and stay the hell away from her.