This Topic is Archived
crisisrecovery ( member #26473) posted at 1:06 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
I still struggle with anger a little bit but it is much better. Mine too, is mostly because of the fact that he was able to walk away from his responsibilities and leave me to clean up the mess. We are in an area of greatly decreased housing market and only my name was on the mortgage so he just got to walk away.
The thing that helped me the most was reminding myself over and over that my anger was only hurting ME. He didn't know when I felt it, he didn't have any effect from it at all. By hanging on to the anger I would only be hurting myself and I have been hurt enough. It would give him power over me and I just REFUSED to let that happen any more!
Every day above ground is a good day.
tearsofjade ( member #25778) posted at 1:54 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
You've a gotten some really great advice. At times I start thinking of the shit he has pulled. He cheated and then put me through false R, now he has to make me the worst person on earth in his mind, and let me know what he is thinking. I have my moments when these things really piss me off! But then I stop by reminding myself of a couple things.
1) He is totally wrong about me and is just projecting his own shit on me because he is not strong enough to own it and improve himself, that is really sad.
2) He will wallow in his shit and be miserable for the REST OF HIS LIFE! For me that is the best revenge, I don't have to do a thing, he is going to be a miserable person by his own making.
3)He lost me, a wonderful women! He is the loser, not me.
I am happily moving forward with my NB and there is no way I will let him or thoughts of his idiocy slow me down! I am a better person for having to go through this, If not for him being a FT I wouldn't be a new and improved me! I have the attitude of gratitude.
FBW(me)48
Divorced and really happy!
The best revenge is a life lived well!
InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 4:14 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
This thread was an inspiration to me this morning. Thank you everyone.
I'd only add self-forgiveness. Some place inside of me tends to beat myself up for being stupid enough to get myself into that mess, choose the wrong guy to marry, not get out of the M sooner, not to have seen it coming, etc. etc. etc. and I just have to forgive myself and let it go. Every day. Still working on it. Forgiving myself is harder than forgiving him but I work on it because forgiveness sets me free. (Forgiveness as in letting go not condoning bad behavior)
BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!
This Topic is Archived
