SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

If it's uncontested, paralegals can do all the D paperwork for probably a third of what the lawyer is charging.

Court fees add up too. In my county it's $395 to file divorce.

Bufffalo,

I've drawn the line and I don't think she is going to like it. The separation agreement will state the I keep the house. We have equal custody and visitation but until she has a suitable place for the children to live (at least a 2 BR apt more likely a 3br FURNISHED) then they stay with me. If they stay with me she gets no child support and actually owese money.

Also OM is not allowed in my house without my prior approval and the kids are not allowed to be taken to his house.

She thinks she is getting a no fault D. That I am being so accommodating. Well she is in for a big surprise.

My lawyer charges a $1500 retainer for an uncontested D. If she contests then the retainer rises to $3500. The money goes into a trust fund and they pull the expenses from there. Each month I have to pay what was spent to bring up the fund back to the original amt.

Once everything is done or we stop then whatever is left is refunded.

It will be contested if your lawyer pulls the same ole lawyer trick of asking for everything under the sun. Make sure that you serve with reasonable expectations. Lawyers like to pull you in with that $1500, but then as a standard procedure, ask for stupid things.

I haven't gotten the impression that she (my lawyer) will be like this. I laid out what my expectations are which I've been told by a few people are very fair and reasonable. The limitations that she will not like are the result of reality. I can't change that.

The only other option is for me to leave the house and pay the rent for her in place of CS. So I leave the house and become a minor parent and essentially get punished because she decided to jump on some guy. I should not have to be punished because of her indiscretions.

I actually considered the option of me getting the apartment until my WW's oldest son both told me he was on my side and he and his wife said that I had to be in the kids lives or they will be neglected by his mother. That I was the only real parent that they had. That was when I realized that I could not just slip away and let her have the house and kids and be try to be satisfied with visitation.

I want us to be friendly. But she continues the A

I'd like to make a very simple observation: she is not your friend.

It's as simple as that.

Friends do not behave, toward friends, the way your wife is behaving toward you.

I understand your desire to be "friendly." Some day, you will very likely have what amounts to a cordial relationship.

But now, you are not friends.

I mean that we act friendly towards each other when we are in the house - questions or discussions about kids HW, whats for dinner, do we need something from the store - we can discuss this like adults if and when she looses the attitude.

But you are right - she is nto my friend and won't be for a very long time unless something clicks in her head.

Dear ga, what you are hearing on here is absolutely correct. You gotta do the 180, period. Also, I ran a stop sign yesterday. I just didn't see it. Good thing there was nobody coming the other way or I had been in a crash.

If my WH and I were not in R and I wanted it so badly but he was choosing the OW and having sleepovers, it would be over.