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NGFinishLast (original poster new member #38233) posted at 7:30 PM on Monday, January 28th, 2013
Thank you EVERYONE. I sincerely mean that. My own friends haven't been this helpful.
LonelyHusband, I do find myself getting trapped in her world of crazy some days. Initially, I was doing what you said and consoling her for how she felt about another guy. How insane is that!? It's so easy to fall back into the role of "protector" when I see her breaking down under the weight of her actions.
I don't know if it is even worth it to do some of the things you listed. I think keptmyword hit the nail on the head. Maybe I don't love her. There are nine years of me trying to fix this thing and trying to be her therapist and husband and friend. I freely and willingly gave that emotional energy because 1) she was my wife and 2) she'd never done anything directly to hurt me. All of it was residual damage from her childhood. But now...She's lost that benefit.
I'm sure that I'm just exhibiting the typical mood swings, but the hurt seems to have taken a backseat to this feeling of just being pissed off at how much effort I've put into this marriage and a strange feeling of freedom. I almost feel like I can walk away guilt free and start over somewhere else.
But we have a kid and that alone is worth a different thread. At any rate, she started IC today and I start Wed.
D-Day: January 2013
Me, BH: 34
Her, WW: 34
Married 10 years
Kids: Daughter, 6
Divorced: Sep 2013
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