SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So much for unconditional love. He doesnt have to like or agree with her choices - but to ban her from his house? He will regret this one day...

What an utter asshole of a father!

I don't even have words for what I really think.

Ironic what behaviour the whoreman and his whorewoman call out as whore behaviour.

This is all about control, not appropriateness.

((WB and bananas))

Yes, he is Mr. Control. Not long after we married, he told me it was his way or the highway... several times. But he didn't like it when I finally took the highway because it wasn't what HE wanted.

BG is settled back home and feeling a bit better. She was deeply hurt by this, though. She's going to carry it for a long time, I'm afraid.

how ironic that the man who whored around is now calling his teenager a whore? Seriously!

Alienates them to the point of not wanting anything to do with him? And lets them go?

Yup, they do. I don't get it - and honestly I don't think I even WANT to get it. The Dooosh has done this to both of our girls now, and it's all his doing. He is, of course, trying to turn this into my fault somehow. He's claiming parental alienation. Big words for such a small man!

It won't work, though, because I have encouraged my girls to speak to him, see him, spend time with him. HE is the one who has chosen not to see them, and they both know it. His loss, and someday when they both hate him even more than they do now, when things are sad for him because he is all alone in life, he will regret his actions. Maybe.

I am glad your banana has a sense of humor and can see through is douchebaggery!

(((((WB and girls)))))

Wildbananas, were we married to the same guy? xWH also told my IrishLass2 that she looked and dressed like a whore (while he had started living with one) and he told us all the time that it was his way or the highway. We all finally chose the highway. Kinda enjoying this drive

aw sweetie, I'm with wb2, I don't have words for what I really think. I do, however, have a really nice baseball bat...

you and the bananas rock, you know. I'm so sorry teenbanana was hurt by her dad this way.

Poor kid, she kept asking me tonight what she did wrong, what she did to deserve her father and his wife to treat her like that. All I could tell her it wasn't her, it was them. Hard to make a kid understand that, though.

Thanks inconnu... and thanks everyone.

OMG, what a complete asshole.

Lots of hugs to you and your sweet little bananas. I'm learning I can't protect my kids from all the rotten things people will throw at them, but I can give them the tools to deal with it. I would just keep letting her know how awesome she is and maybe talk to her about the fact that how she looks is how a lot of people will perceive her (my "big pants" and wallet chains as a teenager didn't help me with my teachers, even though I was a straight A student ).

Dd and I have started watching "My So Called Life" together. It's awesome. She gets to laugh at what we wore back then and she gets to see I was a teen too.. and I get it. I really do. It sounds silly but we're loving it.

My absolute favorite show when I was in high school! Claire Danes and I were born only weeks apart, so it's like I was living through her when that show was on. Boy do I wish I had daughters. I just don't think it will be the same watching it with my sons

He will regret it wildbananas...trust me! One day...down the road....a month or a year from now without seeing his girls...and he is going to MISS THEM....and suddenly his petty cares about makeup are going to seem pretty stupid.....but it will be too late because his girls will want nothing to do with him.

So sad... (((BIGHUGZ2MYFAVBANANA)))

Just when I think he can't be a bigger ass, he surprises me.

Thank God she has you as her mother.

(((nanners & lil' nanner)))

AJ's MOM

Hugs to you and BBG (beautiful banana girl). This would have happened in our family too, had we D or S when mine were teens. Xpos is very controlling also. As it is, we had a similar incident after they were M! I can now see it for what it was. He was still being controlling after they left the house and were M!

The sad thing about what he did to BBG is that he will someday take credit for his actions being the exact right thing to do. (As someone said, it's being a teenager and challenging him, which he failed miserably). He will see what a beautiful, perfectly dressed and made up young woman she becomes and tell himself that it's because he set her straight that day. I've actually seen this with xpos and know the truth of it, sadly.

My child who went through this also has a wonderful sense of humor, but was too devastated by xpos' actions to overcome it that way. I'm glad BBG can use that release and has you there for her. I couldn't be there for mine at that time and so regret that now. Sorry to t/j, but just adding it as confirmation of how well you and BBG are handling this because I've been a part of the disfunction of not doing the right thing in this situation. But at that time I was in my own kind of fog.

Thank you, ajsmom and thebighurt.

And get this... baby banana told me his wife (not OW) told him he did the right thing, that he "spoke from his heart."

Must be pretty dark and dingy in there, yeah? Geesh.

Must be pretty dark and dingy in there, yeah?

Yeah, for sure, sadly. Lots if spiders, snakes and slimy lizards, too. But, maybe that's not being fair to those poor creatures!

You're welcome WB. I'm a bit envious that you have this now. Though my kids say they had a great life growing up, I know there were lots of things I didn't handle well because I was too busy keeping the peace with xpos. He would get angry with me for expressing any kind of differing view. Tell me that I always wanted to point out those things to him. I was one of Pavlov's dog. I got punished so many times, I learned to just let things go; and that was tacit agreement, although it made me feel awful about me. Still does.

The irony is that your beautiful daughter was probably pushing boundaries and seeking some kind of response from him because of his choices and his actions. The grown up thing to do would have been to recognise that for what it was and use it as an opportunity for some great discussions.

I am so sorry for your banana. I am also very, very glad that she has you.

Sadly, the only thing you can do is damage control. Your DD will learn that her example of unconditional love is you. That your emotional support and love are exactly the nurturing she needs to grow to be the woman she wants to be. She will learn that when she is not being subjected to being a prop for his life.

Hugs,

K