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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 3:03 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
The sheer absurdity made me laugh, too. That these interlopers can be so presumptuous would be funny, if it weren't so pathological.
BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams
Chefj9 ( member #38604) posted at 3:07 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
My husband smelled off once. After Dday, I realized why. Made me sick.
I had that experience as well. He had been with her that morning, flew home and was with me the same day. 
Now I know what was "off"
ME - BS 50, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 26,16, 15 and 13
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere
Getting to Happy ( member #35200) posted at 3:48 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
OMG!
If I had known, I would have soaked his junk in canned tuna water while he was sleeping.
That is HI-Larious!!!
The visual of you soaking his johnson in tuna water.... 
Bravenewgirl, ya killin' me!
WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 4:09 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2013
I actually had the displeasure of talking to one of the OW, the one he would see for 15 minutes every few months to get his rocks off and then never see her again until he needed more rocks off. Anyway, she was appalled when I told her that every time she serviced my H that was getting my leftovers. I told her I knew it for a fact because every time my H showered, he came right to bed and we had some fun.... and I KNOW he didn't shower in the morning before leaving the house to see her. I'm sure she turned 4 shades of white.... apparently she hadn't thought about him having sex with his wife at all. 
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
Want2help ( member #20547) posted at 1:48 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
Smell that fish dong OW....SMELL IT.
I totally just snorted.
FBS/WS- me.
F(serial)WS/BS- him.
Madhatters. More Ddays than birthdays, at this point. His OC, my OC...
UPDATE: Divorcing after almost 20 years.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 2:05 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
Oh shit. Er, sorry, but OMG I am snurfling with laughter. The chuckles just keep rolling up and the carbonation from what I was drinking is bringing up NA Beer bubbles!
First, when I read the title, I was thinking, she sniffs hot dogs? Then, of course the way my mind works, I was picturing her on her knees sniffing a dachshund's butt. Well, at least I got the "on the knees" part right!
Honestly, all I can picture in my mind's eye is her sniffing away, looking up at him with suspicion, and then taking a little lick, just to check in case the sniffing was wrong. That's rather horrifying .... But I'm still chuckling.
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
happierdays ( member #38537) posted at 2:41 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
You take the prize for the best topic title ever! Made me laugh!
Me - 40 something
WH - 40 something
Dday - Oct 7, 2012
Dday 2 - June 4, 2013
Married - 12 years
2 DD
betrayedandnumb ( member #24903) posted at 3:02 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
I'm sorry, but I snorted also.
If I had known, I would have soaked his junk in canned tuna water while he was sleeping. Smell that fish dong OW....SMELL IT.
And that caused me to laugh so hard, I had to catch my breath.
Thanks for the laugh... and ewwww...
BW- me
FWH-him
3/28/09 The day he started skiing down the slippery slope
4/26/09 The day it turned PA
Dday #1 7/13/09, #2 7/16/09, #3 10/23/09, Major setback- 8/13/10
In R
joeboo ( member #31089) posted at 3:07 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
wiener sniffer
Thanks for the laugh! Gives a whole new meaning to the term "nose job".
Bravenewgirl (original poster member #36267) posted at 11:55 AM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
OMG! I love these replies! Canadian Hippie Chimp Champ! Dachshund Butt Smelling! The national anthem!
Perhaps I should provide context as it how it came up. WH didn't just say out of the blue over dinner "OW smelt my dick, please pass the tuna casserole".
We were having a discussion about this one email of hers where he had told her he loved me and she went ballistic. Something along the lines of:
"What the fuck do you love about her anyway?! Fuck BNG, she gets everything! Watching movies with BNG, taking holidays with BNG, weekends with BNG! FUCK HER! If you love her so much, why were you so unhappy?!"
This had made my head spin at the time, because, ummm, I'M HIS WIFE DUMMMY! Of course I get those things.
He then told me that she had been unreasonably jealous of me throughout the two year A, and that's when he related the tidbit about the smelling.
OW didn't just get my crumbs...she also got my vapours.
Don't come around here no more
-Tom Petty
UKlady ( member #39058) posted at 1:38 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
This has made me lol while sitting relaxing, listening to lovely piano music with my WH!!
Now I want to share it with him but can't decide whether to or not! Bit of a sensitive issue but I know he'd find it funny!
Thank you BNG for starting this and for the many other replies that have me inappropriately ROFLing!
Me: BW 45
Him: WH 48
Married: 6 years, together 9 years
D-day: 3 January 2013 - he confessed.
A: June-Dec 2012
No children.
painpaingoaway ( member #27196) posted at 2:19 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
OMG this is hilarious!!!!!
D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk
HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 2:22 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
OW didn't just get my crumbs...she also got my vapours.
BNG, you just made the quote thread for the 2nd time in 2 days.
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
frankiebaby ( new member #39602) posted at 2:25 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
My sides ache!!!!
NoTriangles ( member #35985) posted at 3:39 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
WH didn't just say out of the blue over dinner "OW smelt my dick, please pass the tuna casserole".
Oh. My. Gosh! My juice just went up my nose! Ack!!
Me: Finding my SunlightHim: Traitor in my FoxholeLet go or get dragged.
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 5:34 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
FWH didn't find this nearly as amusing as we all did. 
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Tired05 ( member #39609) posted at 9:04 PM on Saturday, June 22nd, 2013
Yep, It is both hilarious and pathetic that they think they can feel this way...
OW in my case seemed to get upset whenever my WH even talked to me. When he came home for leave, he told her he was only having sex with me and being nice to me to keep playing the 'good husband' card and so I wouldn't know they had broken NC. She said "Okay....as long as you don't like it." Little did they know, I had a front row seat to their conversations. Did anyone else know that you can be on the same FB account on multiple devices at the same time? (:
I ended up sending her an email describing in detail my WH pursuing me, and all of the things HE initiated on his own. I'm sure she felt like he was cheating on her. I purposely put my WH in positions to see if he would act as opposed to reacting to me doing something. (I.E. - Seeing if he would sit beside me, even though there were multiple other seats around or kissing his neck (his spot) juuust once and then rolling over. He didn't even hesitate or try to resist.) Told her aaalll about it. Hopefully gave her a few mind movies of her own.
[This message edited by Tired05 at 4:24 PM, June 22nd (Saturday)]
Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....
kernel ( member #27035) posted at 2:58 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
Smell that fish dong OW....SMELL IT.
HILARIOUS!!!
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."
shiloe ( member #1224) posted at 3:25 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 58 Dday 03/2011
Cheater -58 Married 26 yrs
DD - 23 DD -21 DS-19
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA- new MCOW D-2/17
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 4:51 AM on Sunday, June 23rd, 2013
I just read most of this thread to FWH. Now we're both sitting here snurfling with laughter. Does she sit up and beg too?
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
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