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As an Army wife who has lived in a lot of places, with an Hispanic last night, my family and myself have faced things like that in each place we have lived. So I do agree with your husband. I am sorry that you had to hear it.

The first comment I could put down to simple ignorance about the origin of the phrase.

One of my sisters used that term all the time. On particular afternoon, after she had used it multiple times, I finally asked her if she remembered that H is Jewish. She just looked at me, said yes and went right back to her conversation about being almost 'cheated.' I realized she had no clue that phrase would be considered racist. At that point I let it go.

But your customer's comment about 'them' hiding money made it clear she was not unthinking in her comment, that she knew exactly what she was saying.

I am also sorry you were witness to that....as an employee, it's probably better not to respond negatively. On the street and not working....well, that's a whole different matter.

I grew up in California where we have a fairly diverse history and my parents were liberal in a liberal town. But still....

I have usually learned about the racist or bigoted background of words or phrases - after I've uttered them.

Chew it down - like a piece of cheese. That's how I always heard that phrase. You know, when you barter at the flea market you try to chew the price down.

Let me get my boy on that - you know, the kid who works for me - one of the boys - he's good at stuff and I'm sure he can help you.

My grampa talked about the portagee gate - the wire one in the back fence with the hoop you lift to open it

And gramma always liked us to try the lumpia at the church potluck the filipinos brought

We were pollacks and I was supposed to be offended by Polish jokes except I always thought they were generic jokes that you could substitute "pollack" for any other ethnicity and the joke was still funny.

I never learned a quick reply. I did learn to bite my tongue and file away my knowledge of that person as "pre-judges others based on things they can't control" - whether it was racist, political, religious, or other, you can't pigeon-hole somebody (gosh, is this offensive? I don't even know).

Sigh. I wish the world would become more of a melting pot.

AN, my own Mother used this expression in a conversation with me once (I'm a convert, so the only Jew in the family), and my jaw just about hit the floor. I was so shocked that I couldn't say anything, and besides I couldn't come back on my MOM, but my big brother lit into her. I've had a lot of people use it in my presence where I live (it's a common expression in the South) and I usually mention that I'm Jewish. Then they're surprised - "Oh, you don't "look" Jewish. Great - add another insult! Some people will just never get it.

Meta: I was going to write EXACTLY the same post as yours (well, not word for word, but you know what I mean).

I learned something today, and I'm glad I did.

As for the Jewing Down comment, that is not at all ambiguous. And the follow-up comment indicated that she knew exactly what she was saying. Sad!

Edited bc not sure if I broke rules.

Ive stood up at work in my own way. Some people are sreadfast in their belief. Some people refuse to believe their commenrs cross any lines. Maybe at work you could say their comment made you feel uncomfortable and because you are at work you cant go into explainations. Then continue the conversation.

Or leave it for after work.

Isnt there a saying here on SI that you cant change stupid?

[This message edited by sullymeishadomi at 2:38 PM, September 27th (Friday)]

I HATE that phrase and call it out nicely as if they haven't really realized what an idiot they're being.

"I'm sure you don't understand that's a very bigoted comment and I'd hate for someone to think you are ignorant" is my standard reply to that.

People amaze me with their lack of historical knowledge and stupidity. Every day.

Oddly... after this thread was posted the following happened to me at work.

I wear a Star of David so It's pretty obvious that I'm Jewish. I have been wearing the star for about 6 months now.

Co-worker said to me: "You're Jewish" in a shocked voice. and followed it up with "I should've known, you look Jewish".

Me: "What exactly does 'look Jewish' mean? Oh, because I have a big nose?"

Co-Worker: "Oh ..... I mean you have curly hair."

Yeah, 'cause only Jews have curly hair!

I just shook my head and walked away.

UO, I wish I had my wits about me to say that. I just lose my power of speech when it happens.

Jrc, You know, I have curly hair, too. I guess it IS a Jewish thing. SMH with you.

AN - that must be it!

My mother only has curly hair if she gets a perm... otherwise it's completely straight.

Only Jews have curly hair?? Dang, I should tell my sister that her oldest is actually Jewish. His hair is (was) as curly as a Brillo pad.

The above was said with heavy sarcasm of course. One of my first thoughts on the "you look/don't look Jewish" was just what, exactly, does a Jew look like? Sammy Davis Jr. was a Jew but he sure didn't look like the stereotypical Jew... being black and all.

Anyway AN, you're not the only one who comes up with the perfect comeback after the fact. There have been plenty of times this has happened to me. Of course sometimes the best comeback is this:

My comeback would have been.: oh I didn't know you were a racist.

You know like a friend that you known for yrs and you just found out that her mother was French.

I worked with girl and only knew she was half French when her mother came into the store and they started talking in French I was all excited.

@JRC1963

You should have replied : well now I know what ignorance looks like.

When I hear a comment like that I lean, put my hand on their arm, and whisper,

"Just so you know. I'm offended by racist comments like that"

Then I put on a big smile and make a positive comment or compliment some other aspect "So glad you sold your house"

That way its about ME... not about them being rude. It makes it easier and hopefully is a learning experience for them!

[This message edited by PhoenixRisen at 3:26 PM, September 29th (Sunday)]

You should have replied : well now I know what ignorance looks like.

Where were you when I needed you!

The only times I've heard 'jew down' have been when non-Jews have tried to get me to lower a price. I haven't had a comeback either, but the memories have stuck - and the last time I heard it said to me was a long time ago.

One of the reasons I stick to big cities, I guess....

AN, I'm sorry you had to deal with such a rude person