I hate to be this guy, and know that I am not trying to minimize your situation in any way. Your story grabbed me because it is very similar to mine. After finding out about STBXH breaking NC with OW and screwing her while he was at the police academy, my spouse made a "suicide attempt" to emotionally blackmail me. He took some sleeping pills, wrote a letter, and planned for me to find him holding my wedding picture. And he planned it for a time where it would hurt me most, a time when I was trying to celebrate graduation with a group of kids that I love and had worked with.
I was mad because the more I got to thinking, the more I realized something: My STBXH was a police officer. If he honest to God wanted to off himself, there are far more effective and less attention-seeking ways for him to do it. Your WS is in the Army. I have to think that there would be better ways for him to go about it besides the way he did. Honestly, it seems like he was doing it for attention and more to punish you than anything else. If he really wanted to kill himself, he would have to put it simply.
I am so sorry for your pain. I know you are hurting and embarassed on top of it because now your private life is very public. I hate to say this, but he is manipulating you sweetie. He knows he can and he will continue to do so until you make him stop. You are being used and violated and he is going to continue to do whatever the hell he pleases. Take care of you first. The Army can take care if him. Get yourself safe and healthy because until you can, you will continue to be an easy target.
Know I am not trying to minimize anything. I am so sorry that you are hurting and if you need anything, please PM me. I am pretty worried for you. Know that if you need to talk, I'll be here. (((((Hugs)))))
"When I die, hallelujah bye and bye, I'll fly away."
Multiple D-days, divorcing
