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I'm angry for you! Sounds like he got "snipped" in court on Tuesday so he needs to feel like a man/ in control some how. How dare he use teslet as a pawn!

You have been doing a wonderful job of protecting teslet from all the crazy. I know it wears you out. Sending you strength

Ugh.... sounds like we have a little mantrum going on.

Do you have the parenting guidelines/custodial agreement/whatever legal documents are appropriate in electronic form? If not, I would scan them in.

And then, although ignoring as much as possible is the best thing here, you could just highlight the appropriate area in the guidelines/agreement for whatever mantrum he is currently throwing, and e-mail it to him.

I know you are up to handling all this crap from them, but it still sucks!

(((((Tesla)))))

[This message edited by osxgirl at 6:38 AM, October 31st (Thursday)]

(((Tesla)))Stay strong sister.

Try to keep in mind that he is just like a bad kid that has never heard the word no. It takes continuous consistent same responses about a million and one times to finally get them to realize that No means No, and you are going to follow the rules, no more, no less.

((((((TESLA))))))

Strength to you, tesla. ((((hugs))))

I hate to say this because I know how awful he is and how important it is for you to stand up to him but...It's Halloween and Teslet probably would really like to trick or treat at 5 with his best friend. 6 is a late start. :(

Could you text or email saying that he is dead wrong on asking for him early but for Teslets benefit you will allow him to have him an hour early. Or you could bring him at 5:00 and you take him out with his best friend from 5 to 6 and then let him meet you wherever you are trick or treating at 6. Then you hae the fun hour and he gets the cranky, tired, sugar laden kid.

I'm just thinking of Teslet. He doesn't need Halloween to be a tug of war and you know your ex doesn't give a shit. It's all about him.

Don't let him bully you. He's an absolute asshole.

It's Halloween and Teslet probably would really like to trick or treat at 5 with his best friend. 6 is a late start. :(

Asswipe Tool's parenting time starts at 6pm. If Tesla is able, she and Teslet can go to a few houses in her neighborhood for an hour or two before the 6pm start time.

Asswipe Tool does NOT get to bully her into dancing to his tune.

No.

Just my opinion, but 6 pm is not too late a start for halloween. Peabrain ex may make a big deal out of "too bad you didn't get to go around with your best friend," but then he's bound to say something knuckleheaded regardless.

Sigh. So sorry you have to deal with this.

Hope he takes you to court...

I totally expected some backlash.

He and SW can't go waltzing into court looking like they wore their Halloween costumes a few days early, lose (and we know he will) and just slink back into their hole.

Nope. They've got to play hardball and put Teslet in the middle, because that's what chicken shit cheaters do.

Stay your course. Take him for an hour elsewhere - or - YOU contact his BFF's parents and do the first hour with them.

Then Soooper Dad! can have him for his court appointed, scheduled visitation.

AJ's MOM

Inquiring minds want to know.... Did stripper whore dress up like a Slutty Slut or a Slutty Whore?

Inquiring minds want to know.... Did stripper whore dress up like a Slutty Slut or a Slutty Whore?

I'm wondering if she could put a mini stripper pole on wheels (like a medication bag pole in the hospital) and roll it around the neighborhood. Would be perfect for Trick or Treat. She could offer the parents both options.

I better start looking for a new school for him because he fears it is inadequate.

Tesla,

Doesn't your decree state that you make all decisions regarding where he goes to school?

Sorry he is making you go through all this drama.

I'm not concerned about the school thing...the only thing he can really do is stop paying his portion of tuition. The school is 'inadequate' because they won't release Teslet to his stripper or to him any longer because we've reverted to the standard visitation schedule.

So I got caught in texting back and forth with him over the pick up time and this crap about him keeping Teslet overnight on Sunday.

He kept saying "stop interefering with my visitation rights"

I finally reminded myself that this idiot is an utter moron and CANNOT be reasoned with. (Why the fuck do I think he will behave differently???? He's shown me who he is...I need to start treating him like that person.)

So I texted

You misunderstand this [the sunday overnight thing]. I will have my lawyer send you clarification regarding this. We will meet you at my place by 5. There is no interference as I read the guidelines, but feel free to have your lawyer refer these interference allegations to my lawyer.

So, Teslet and I go out for an early dinner. At 4:20 stripper whore calls. She is at my house waiting to pick Teslet up. Oh no, I say, there must be a misunderstanding, the pick up time is 5:00.

Don't you fucking love how *I* am interfering with his visitation rights and he's sending her to pick Teslet up? Anyway, Teslet is expecting dad to pick him up...so disappointment again for him. As we were getting out of the car at 4:58, he says to me - "Mom, why didn't you let dad help you build my swingset?"

I said, "Because your dad doesn't live here. When dad wants to build you a swingset, he will build you one at his place and it will be very nice of him to do that. I won't help him build that swingset because I don't live there."

Teslet says, "Stripper-whore says that you are mean because you wouldn't let daddy help you."

I say, "Well, what do you think about that?"

Teslet: "I told her that was a rude thing to say and that you are not mean."

Sigh, time for another play therapy appointment. This shit is not going to get better.

I thanked him but told him that he doesn't have to stick up for me. That sometimes people say rude things but he and I knew the truth. I'm not sure what else to say to it.

Oh -- and stripper whore was dressed as one of those sluts from the pirates of the carribean. I assume ex-shat is masquarading as captain jack sparrow.

Teslet: "I told her that was a rude thing to say and that you are not mean."

I'm glad he didn't let her get away with that. Sad that S-W is putting your sweet boy in that position.

Tesla. you might want to consider keeping a copy of your decree on you at all times. If he ever accuses you or involves the police in a custody issue, the police will read and respond to the legal document.

I don't have any active advice, but wanted to say you are not alone here. The XPervert has suddenly become very, very bold and I finally learned that he is shacked up with OW, minimum. My semi-worry is them thinking they could "provide" for DD as they would be "duel" and I would be "one".

There has been similar bullying that you have and it's terrible.

Ugh. I am so sorry that you're going through this. It's never enough for them-- they blow apart their families, leave behind all manner of wreckage, seemingly get what they want (AP stays with them, less responsibility because they walk away from the kids and home), and yet... they STILL want more.

I hate these remorseless XWSs who just can't stop their craptastic behavior. Sending hugs to you and your little man.

Tesla, Crysallis is right, keep a copy of your decree and the state guidines. From experience, if the police are called they will refer to the legal document.

I am so glad teslet stood up for you. It shows his integrity.

Hugs,

K

Fuck me sideways, tesla.

You and I have been through his shit before. He has a second wind right now but he will run out of steam. He'll get used to the fact that he has lost. It's all about acceptance, innit.

Fuck you, stripperwhore - one day this beautiful little boy will know exactly what you are. He is already smarter than you. As a mother to another - shame on you for trying to fuck with him. Fuck.you. You are an affront to the sisterhood and to the motherhood.

My semi-worry is them thinking they could "provide" for DD as they would be "duel" and I would be "one".

@Ash, This fear is unfounded - please don't even entertain it. Two fuckwits don't outrank one mamma in any way, shape or form.