SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It means your head is in control of your heart.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a big fan of butterflies, but being "in control" (of yourself) is a very fine thing indeed.

When they're not flying around all over the place, it leaves more room in the stomach for food - eating with gusto, cleaning your plate, is a big turn-on for a man. (Shhhh. Don't tell anyone I told you this. They might revoke my man card for telling. Shhhh!)

Well, that figures!

Next time I try to post a secret, I'll make it so it doesn't appear at the top of a new page!

Nice planning jj!

Geeez.

I'll have to do 50 push-ups or something to get my card back. I'm screwed.

You can redeem your status jjct! Go stomp out a forest fire or tackle a burglar.

As for your advice I'm taking it! I am always hungry.

Have to stop over thinking this. It's dinner with another adult. I'm usually across the table from a lovely but typically sullen teenager.

The date finally happened and it was wonderful! He was an absolute gentleman. Dinner in a lovely yet casual Inn. He had called in advance and asked for a table near the fireplace (he is a mason and has an affinity for fireplace design). We never had a lag in the conversation.

Somehow the topic turned, without too much intense emotion, to the reasons for our divorces. I told him my point-blank, no-discussion-needed-answer "I did not get along with his girlfriends". He asked me if I ever cheated to which I honestly answered "Never". He then told me that his ex had cheated and cheating on a spouse was a deal breaker.

He walked me to my door and gave me a hug. I thanked him for taking things slow. I was relieved that he did not go for a kiss. I want to build a relationship. There will be no 3 date sexpectation here (thanks to Faithfool for that apt word). By the way he smelled amazing!

He is devoted to his daughters so understands my devotion to mine.

We both love to ski, travel, same music.

Omg I could go on and on.

I was feeling meh about dating.

This has potential but if it does not develop into anything I still had a nice night and have learned that there are nice people out there!

Oh and I ate as much as I wanted jjct. Maybe this is why he expressed an interest in another date?

I've been following this - what a great update! Just enjoy the ride!

Happy for you!

A couple of missed calls and texts. Tonight a 1hr 45 min phone call.

Yeah! And sweet dreams

I am so very happy for you. Keep posting so I can live vicariously through you

So I do not want to be making a big deal about this new beginning but Damn! We talk every night. I still think if this doesn't turn into a anything more I will be fine with it. But in reality I think I am about to embark on a relationship.

Awesome!!!!

I have given up on dating for now, thanks for the glimmer of hope for future dating.

If I am gushing too much someone tell me. That said he stopped by tonight for a quick glass of wine. Three hours later we were still talking.

He is going to be out of town till Friday. As he left he gave me a big hug and asked if it would be ok if he called me while he was away. I gasped and said "OMG that would be unacceptable" We both laughed.

He is wonderful. We are so much on the same page about family, relationship, life priorities...

I am going to keep my feet on the ground. It is however nice to feel these feelings.

Good update.

He called me 3 out of the 4 days (one day 2X) while he was on his skiing trip. We have a date to go to a fundraiser my good friends have organized on Saturday night. Dancing and great BBQ. They will check him out for me. I am not worried.

Still keeping the feet on the ground but definitely really interested. Was not sure that this could ever happen.

If this fizzles out I am so okay with it. After living through my divorce I'm pretty impervious to a new relationship not working out.

The next time I see him I am going to kiss him like crazy!

I'm loving your updates, rising. Giving me hope.

Wow, I love reading this!!! Have fun tomorrow night!!!!

I love it! I am so happy for you. You go girl!

I have never spent so much time talking about and defining what we want our relationship to look like, even before and as it is currently developing. We have talked about deal breakers, how we anticipate we will handle different situations, how to keep our expectations realistic, on and on.

As the weeks have passed I am watching him smile/laugh more and more. He asks all the right questions. We have identified areas that may be troublesome for us. For instance we should never ever discuss politics. We will never agree or change the other person's ideology.

All of this sounds great but there is no way to predict what will happen. I can go into this believing my eyes are open but we all know at SI that our past experiences have an effect on how we look at relationship. In some way I will always be be vigilant, cautious and look slightly over my shoulder. Not to an unhealthy degree but it will always be a part of me. I believe while I can be hurt again by a partner no one will ever hurt me like that again. I like him but if it does not work out I have already suffered the deepest emotional wound a man could inflict. And come out stronger on the other side!

Maybe this should be a different thread but it all relates back to the fact that I am stepping into this new relationship. Happily!

We had a wonderful night. He even danced which he said he had not done in years. The first relationship for both of us since divorce.

There are many words I could use to describe how this feels....Best choice is that it just feels right.

This is making my day

It's so good to read this - your growing hope and happiness fairly leap off the page.