SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

His job.

His uniform.

His profession in general.

Hotels.

Room service.

Pandora.

The phone bill.

2 cities.

Our anniversary.

Doctor appts.

Halloween.

Thanksgiving.

The cheap motel he spent 6+ years

His cellphone

Wells Fargo

The 60 fwy

Her name

Movies about infidelity

Square toe cowboy boots

Ugh!!!! I hate this :'(

Him using a tablet behind closed doors

Being late coming home from work

Smartphones

Asian women

Holidays

Girl Scout Cookies( bummer...)

Him being awake when I am not

Parking lots

Our minivan( sold)

Taking my kids to homeschool co-op

Facebook

My WH

An easier question would be, what things aren't a trigger

The mobile phone

My home, OW's town, sex scenes in movies esp with aggressive women, short women tall men together, certain make of car, bunnie boiler plots in movies

My fWH shares some triggers but he gets unpleasant memories which pop up which he dismisses.

I listed mine before, but have an addition. HIM-some days he's my trigger.

The Keg

The word "vacation" (what he called his time with her)

The word "resort" (what he called her)

An acronym he slightly changed from ours and used with her

His office

His profession/my profession

Dancers

Two cities and one entire country (I iwll never visit again)

China (because the three times I was there were good excuses to fuck her)

Our spare bedroom (despite all furniture replaced and flooring redone)

Our car

A certain park

My 6 month old daughter

White gmc dual wheeled pickup trucks.

Long dark and curly hair

Jehovah witnesses- she was one

Short, curvy girls- I'm tall, and not curvy

Cigarette smoke

Paris (yes, they found time to make that a getaway for a long weekend under the guise of a business trip)

New Orleans (see above)

Las Vegas (supposed "guys trip")

Scottsdale (another supposed "guys trip")

Several luxury hotels in our city (where they would go if her roommate was around)

Three of my SAWH's friends who were in on the affair

Late nights

Polish - people, food

Nightclubs

Heavy eye makeup

Forever 21 which is where I picture her and her friends shopping

High heels

White military style jackets (OW left this in one of WH's acquaintance's car at an event they attended and tried to recover it but his wife blew off her repeated attempts to make contact because she knew that wasn't WH's wife).

[This message edited by womaninflux at 2:26 PM, March 22nd (Saturday)]

My triggers are too many to list, but here are a few

The time 11:11

Facebook instant messenger

Minneapolis

Submissive wife talk

MY full length bathroom mirror (he would take photos of himself and send to her)

His freaking cell phone obsession

Our computer now loaded with viruses

Belts

It's a lot, right?

Girls with bright red hair

Nightclubs

Songs about cheating or ONS on radio

(worse when he listens to them^)

Falling asleep while hes awake

Him closing the door while on the computer

Being in the bathroom to long (he used to txt her in there)

Not opening fb messages when the icon is on

Looking at a txt more then 2 sec

Friday the 13th

The city she lived in

Buying winterfresh when hes out

.....So many.

Wow I just scrolled down and saw iwillNOT. Im so happy im not alone with the sleeping thing. I thought people might think thats unusual, but thats one of THE BIGGEST TRIGGERS.

HIM

Her very common name

The exit AP lives near

His Job

His Uniform

His Badge

Did I say HIM

His SUV They rode around in it

Certain songs, TV commercials

His cell phones

SI

HIM

Changes every day.

Some days are non-stop triggers, others, trigger-free.

Here are some of mine:

Every city he shipped his mistress into (there are 8)

Any memories from our vacation condo he brought her to regularly (made him sell it and torch all contents, but things still pop up)

Tiny Asian women in short skirts (his OW preference). This makes me the most sad because I don't have a racist bone in my body, I have tons of asian friends, and now I feel like THAT around some asian women.

Not answering the phone immediately

I torched/got rid of whatever i felt like from the 8 years he fucked around on me. Clothes, his car,necklace he has worn for 15 years (including as he was fucking OW's), furniture I pictured them touching (which was every piece in the condo), things that reminded me of his "time away from home", stuff I just knew he loved and was attached to (because he needs things taken away from him), you name it...I got rid of it, and made him watch. Down to the last knife and fork at our condo because of the thought of her touching it.

The only thing I didn't get rid of from our condo were pictures of my babies that were on the wall above where they fucked, sick assholes.

Triggers suck. Torching them was/is cathartic.

If only I could torch the ones that exist in my head.

Him some days - including when things are good, and I suddenly think of what he did. That sucks.

Any movie, book, tv show that includes prostitutes

Asian women (he expressed a preference for them on a sex forum - used other prostitutes as well so not sure why this is such a huge trigger)

Mention, sight if young women with old men

Some music

His phone

His computer

Things he says - sometimes.

Deleted duplicate

[This message edited by Sadjacey at 4:23 AM, March 23rd (Sunday)]

Almost everything still triggers me to be honest :(

Buuuut, here are the big ones:

The city where it all took place,

Any scene in a movie showing sex in a car,

Talking about my birthday,

Del taco,

Her stupid name, that is EVERYWHERE now,

Walmart,

Hickeys....

*The city they work in (which is unfortunately now where I live, yay me)

*A particular suburb of the above city (where she lives, where the A happened)

*A particular hotel (where the A started)

*A particular mall in the above city (where they had coffee dates.

*Tattoos (she went with WH to get one)

*OW's name

*A particular catholic saint (who shares OW's name)

*Catholicism in general (she is one)

*Valentine's Day - he gave me the ILYBNILWY speech on Valentine's Day.... nice guy!

*5 February - the A was consummated on 5 Feb

*Lee jeans

*A particular district in Paris (shares OW's surname... pity... it's an area I always wanted to visit)

*Wimpy restaurants (they went there together)

*India Arie

*The Black-eyed Peas (she gave my daughter a CD )

*women with lots of black eyeliner...

*Women who expose their teeth all the time. Toothy photographs (every photo I have seen of her it's all teeth). Little brown-haired toothy people.

*Chevron and anything Chevron related

*My husband phoning me to say "Good-night" (he would phone me to say good-night from her house. Just hearing the words "good-night" from his mouth does my head in.

*white wine (her drink of choice)

*any movie or TV program or book with anything A-related (pretty much writes off the media in general!)

The list goes on and on.....

[This message edited by ItsaClimb at 10:11 AM, March 23rd (Sunday)]

Unfortunately, my worst trigger is when we have sex. I picture them doing the same things we do. I have to YELL at myself to stop thinking of them.

*A particular hotel where she worked

*One particular song he brought to my attention

*Certain songs on the radio that I imagine remind him of time they spent together - competely my own mind's invention; I'll admit that.

*Two tourist attractions, one amusement park, one vacation destination, and a city associated with his job.

*Tattoos

This was a great exercise for me. It helped me realize so many triggers too which I no longer respond!