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5454real ( member #37455) posted at 11:57 PM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014
I had to live with XW ( not current WW) for a year and a half while custody was decided. During that time she filed falseDV, had her dates come over to the house to pick her up and took the children to her mother's house as often as she could weather I was home or not.
it was hugely confusing for the kids. I always acted civil towards XWW, when she reciprocated the children's question was why couldn't we stay married if we got along. when she brought her dates over, the question was are you guys still married?
even though your children are older, I highly recommend against this.
I will reiterate what others have said. its not your concern.
strength
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
nekorb (original poster member #40306) posted at 12:11 AM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014
But how you do you make someone leave a home they own half of?
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 1:16 AM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014
That is why you need a lawyer. They can determine if getting you exclusive use of the marital home is feasible.
It is not your concern where he goes. He will figure something out.
My ex pretty much moved directly in with the OW. Their relationship was full of drama right from the start, and she was constantly calling the police on him or kicking him out. When he was not staying with her, he either slept in his car, went to his parents in a neighboring state, or slept on a couch in a basement where this druggie guy that they worked with lives (although I think he stopped staying there one he found the bed bugs in the couch he was sleeping on 
).
woundedwidow ( member #36869) posted at 1:21 AM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014
Woah - wait a second. On Feb. 5th you said the house was already in YOUR name and that your STBX had no ownership in it even though he was insisting on still paying toward the mortgage. His being on the mortgage only gives him part of the debt; your being on the deed by yourself gives you the sole ownership. So basically, it's your house, and he can just go find himself a nice hidey-hole wherever he can. Given the shenanigans he's pulled that you indicated in your newest post, the heck with where he goes.
Be careful what you wish for the most - you may get it.
nekorb (original poster member #40306) posted at 1:49 AM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014
Yeah, the deed is in my name. L says it's still marital property because WH is the only one that had income and has been paying for it.
I'm going to ask about my options on Monday.
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
littlefoggy ( member #41429) posted at 3:14 AM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014
There is a difference between marital property and marital interest. It sounds like he just has interest in the house
Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing
movingforward777 ( member #6850) posted at 3:18 AM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014
As to hefty bagging his stuff to MIL...I wouldn't do that to her. She's my biggest supporter in all this mess and has already told him if he leaves he isn't coming to her house. I have the best MIL in the world. I hope to be as good as her some day.
Just bear in mind that blood is thicker than water....my in laws were wonderful to me after exh screwed off, but it wasn't long before they bought his tale of woe.....
Just prepare yourself that it may not always be "wonderfu" with your MIL....I hope that she does continue to support you...but be bear in mind it may not alwyas be so....
You need to make sure that you do secure some monies of your own in an account he can't access...take it from one who learned the hard way...he can and will screw you over where money if concerned if given the chance...be smart and protect yourself and your money NOW!!!
You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith
myowndystopia ( member #41340) posted at 3:52 AM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014
Mine lives across the hall! He is in the master bedroom and I'm in my son's room that's off at college bedroom and when son comes home he grabs the couch or guest room. I keep asking when is he moving out- of course he can't because he doesn't have any money and if he moved out it would show that he does have money that he has been hiding-which he has!!! I'm so ready to get him out! Granted he is never here. Not home until 10, gone every weekend, that helps but still he is in my "soon to be just mine" house and I'm inconvenienced!
Me- BS
Him - WS (the Grub)
married 28 years/4 kids(mostly grown)
"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
Adele
movingforward777 ( member #6850) posted at 4:31 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014
When my exh decided to run off to be with OW I packed all his shit into boxes and when he called me to ask if he could come by to pick something up I told him "sure"...when he got there imagine his surprise when all of it was packed in boxes and bags waiting for him. I don't know if he thought he could just "pop in when he felt like it for something" but I made it very clear that was NOT going to happen!
Perhaps you should talk to a lawyer myown.....start some proceedings and get it down on paper that he has to leave....
You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith
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