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So at the end of the day she isn't gonna leave and is gonna think about quiting her job.

She is going to think about quitting her job?? That is the best she can do? And she says that she can't believe YOU want leave the house for 1/2 the week when she will not put in even the smallest effort to go NC? wow, entitled much?

I am still advising you to talk to a L. I don't believe for a second that she will quit her job. She only said that to placate you and buy herself more time to cake eat.

Sadly she was never going to leave, she was setting it up so that she could eventually push you out. I am sorry to say that. Don't EVER leave the house, period.

And this 3 days on 3 days off, where did you think she or you would go on the "off days"? That does not even make sense.

Thats the crazy part of all of this is it makes you so crazy that you don't think straight.

Listen to the people here even if you don't want to. Trust us. Follow these steps and show her you will not lay down and die and you will not put up with her disrespect. STAY in that house. Even if it means an in house separation.

I'm to the point if she won't leave and decide if she wants this , then we sell it and go our separate ways until otherwise. I said that and she thought that was crazy ,

The OM works out everyday at her Gym and that is where my wife also works and also works out at. The OM wife already knows and is leaving him. Becasue this is his 2nd or 3rd affair. He is also the one that has sent texts and emails to me about things that her and him only know about but he keeps denying it , but no one else knows , its like he is trying to drive me right out of the marriage. The sad Part is I also was a member at the same gym and it was going on right under my nose , I quite that gym

I also have this feeling that I'm the bad guy for asking her to quite the gym so we can move on. and as usual she says its the only thing that is keeping her together and is her only independance

Well my latest update is she isn't leaving, and she isn't quiting her job anytime soon, So I had IC this morning, and he said seems I'm at my breaking point. What do you do when she won't leave the house this find out what she wants. I said thats fine lets sell the house and go our separate ways untill otherwise.

She won't quit her job because she wants the OM...not you. She doesn't want to sell the house because she doesn't want to be inconvenienced right now. She's making her plans to leave you and you are giving her the time to do so.

If she does not want to sell the house, you will have to see a lawyer and file for divorce to force the sale.

Thank you all so much , this has been all so real

Well everyone hear gave me the strength and I told her to go to hear moms and figuer her shit out , and come back when you want the marriage,

She said me and my freinds can't believe I'm not the one leaving so I can give her more time and space, usually its the man. we haven't really talked since ,

The past 2 weeks allot more people know and some of my freinds have been reaching out and I have been going for a few beers and talking to them for support , and boy oh boy is she mad. She said I can't belive your going out with them and you don't even hang out with them much , I said sometimes in a crises moment people reach out to people and she said , whatever

She said me and my freinds can't believe I'm not the one leaving so I can give her more time and space, usually its the man

Who gives a flip what her friends think. Hell, one of her "friends" is probably OM. Besides, she is wrong. Usually the one that CHEATED is the one that leaves.

You need to just stop talking to her. Go 180 and NC as much as possible.

Stay strong!

She said me and my freinds can't believe I'm not the one leaving so I can give her more time and space, usually its the man. we haven't really talked since ,

RYFKM???

Sorry, you stupid, lying, cheating twit. We got this man's back. We're speaking truth into his heart. You don't get to manipulate him anymore! You're the cheater. You need to go.

Stay strong. SHE needs to leave. She is the one that bailed on the marriage and cheated. Stay and take care of your kids.

Consult a lawyer ASAP.

I'm trying to stay so strong but man its hard as shit, she constantly twists all my words around , Its like I can't even say one word right.Allot of things have come to light for in the recent days, for her to react like that becasue some of my old freinds are reaching out is bullshit and between all of the harrasment I think she has never let go and thats what continues to fuel this guy.its crazy the guys wife even works out at the same gym. It has been the roughest few days of my life sometimes it seems worse than DDay when you start to think of all the little things. she has not even ever givin me details of anything of when where how long it lasted.This website has been the best thing for me , I couldn't imagine where I would have been if I found it earlier. She even said to me I don't know what has gotton into you latley but you have changed . I said I finally have grown some balls.

I love to hear that brother.

now, use them, file for divorce.

let her worry about s*** for a while.

She doesn't want to face that this is all on HER so she's trying to blameshift and make it about YOU. It is crazy-making for sure! Just block her out. Fuck. That. Noise.

she constantly twists all my words around , Its like I can't even say one word right

Get a pocket mini tape recorder first thing tomorrow and tape record every word said.

And the part where she states that she and her friends cannot believe you are not moving out, it's usually the man.

NO, NO and NO, it is usually the one having the affair and the one that wants to continue having the affair that moves out.

Kind of makes you wonder what lies she is telling her friends.

Stay strong, otherwise she will wear you down with her contradicting nonsense. She also seems to be very good at wasting time. All of this she needs time to figure things out.

That would worry me. She needs time to get her ducks in a row. You really need to get your ducks in a row now and be ready to move on. Her wasting time could be her plan and that could present a problem.

Funny- when I really started listening to and leaning on SI, my stbx went nuts asking why I had become "such a bitch"...

I told him I'm done pleasing him and I'm only worrying about myself and my boys.

After he FINALLY realized that I'm not here wailing over him leaving me (which now, I'm really not) and that I am legitimately moving forward- that's when he came sllllinking back to hoover "please come back, I miss you, blabbedy blah."

If you ever want her back- stay strong and do not back down. The problem is, most likely, when that happens you'll see her for what she is and won't want her.

Stay strong. We're all behind you.