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k9lover1 ( member #8531) posted at 6:30 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
I think that sometimes us BS's unknowingly contribute to a form of "conditioning". The WS screws up and we allow it, ie. in their subsconsious or consciousness, this is an acceptance.
When this happens over and over they "learn" that we will accept their bad behavior.
D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late. He died an alcoholic on 9/5/17.
Rebreather ( member #30817) posted at 6:32 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
I cannot attempt to change her
Certainly not, my friend, but you can demand she changer herself.
Until you do, this behavior will never stop.
Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
HowToLiveWithIt (original poster member #18662) posted at 7:37 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014
Of course I meant I cannot change her nature, but I sure can and do demand change in her behavior.
Me BH 53, seemingly married happily 25 years
Wife 51, 3 years after DD,over 25 years she had 3 PA affair, last one developed as EA but then turned PA and lasted for 6 years. Trying to reconcile.
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