SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

DD 12/01/18

App download 11/14/18

looking up this 1 chick every day multiple times a day, according to him he was going back to read her posts over and over and over this behavior lasted 9 days 12-02-12/11 The woman he was looking up got divorced from her hubby in January of 2019

He is always saying he does not cheat, he is not a cheater, he would never cheat, etc He gets full blown angry because when I bring up the app or this girl he feels like i am calling him a liar or saying he cheated

He's sandbagging you. Keep digging.

on the off hand every time I bring up that girl or the app he instantly says

he does not cheat

never has cheated

If he's out I am on his mind and the kids

Even after I cheated if he went to the bar he would not cheat

I am the cheater not him

He says I am faithful always have been

etc

but he says things in when he is angry. I have dug and dug and nothing comes up.

I cannot get an answer, he reverts to YOU cheated not me and I don't have a right to ask about the dating app and that girl.

I asked him how would you feel if I did not cheat and went on dating apps? or looking up 1 specific man and deleting notifications involving him? he said he would not give 2 shits and would not ask questions since I did cheat he would be bothered....

So what's the reason to look up this 1 girl 5-8 times a day daily on FB and delete notifications involving her AFTER DD or have a dating app??

He said he thought hot or not was still a photo rating app...

[This message edited by PAMom45 at 12:02 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)]

On DD 12/01/18 he caught me coming home from being with OM my BS and i had sex on DD.

My BS admitted weeks later he almost told me to get the F**k out

I asked why didn’t you

He replied IDK

We went from having sex once a month which was the norm on his terms the whole marriage to every day for 2 months after DD. Now we are on a schedule.

By his terms, it was hey I’m horny let's have sex

He also went from 5-7 minute performance time to 15-25 minutes of performance time since DD

nearly 4 months since DD our schedule is like this now:

Monday Play day (hand job and he goes down on me)

Tuesday Sex

Wednesday Break Day

Thursday Play Day

Friday Sex

Saturday Break Day

Sunday Sex

He said he started feeling hornier around 2 weeks prior to DD

I asked why he did not tell me this information…..he said we had no condoms I said so what you could of bought some I am your wife he replied ya well….

I asked how it came about He said he smoked weed and it changed him and he was horny ALL THE TIME

After DD his sexual behavior was different He WANTED to go down on me (never wanted to or was interested before) nearly 4 months after DD he is still willing and wanting to do this

He said sex videos of us doing it would turn him on (never happened except one of me stroking him You can only see my hand in the video)

He wanted to role play

He has quit stroking my legs and kissing them

Of course, the daily sex tamed down, obviously. no foreplay like there is now

Prior to DD sex was just take your pants off and lets have sex

I could tell something was different with him before DD, But did not know what. He would stroke my legs and that was new behavior.

After, DD I saw his browser history looking at live cam girls

Nonchantly I asked him if he ever watches porn and what kind

He admitted after the kids go to school he sometimes, but rarely masterbates

I asked why not have sex with me

He said you are sleeping or you look mean in the face

I nonchalantly asked like I did not know if he ever looked or has looked at live cam girls

He said No

I said no more, I knew he lied to me about that and did not want an argument over it

My heart is heavy this girl he was looking up daily for days multiple times a day he said he was going back to read her posts I looked at her posts there was nothing good enough to go back to, to re-read multiple times daily. like he had stated. Plus? This woman got divorced a month after my DD from her husband!

He said he deleted the notifications because I personally looked at them….

I told him you don’t delete things unless you’re hiding things….

He recently admitted he sometimes wishes it was just him and not us.

How does someone prior to having knowledge of their spouse having an A suddenly get horny? How can they go from sex once a month to every day for a few months to 3 times a week?

[This message edited by PAMom45 at 3:22 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)]

How does someone prior to having knowledge of their spouse having an A suddenly get horny? How can they go from sex once a month to every day for a few months to 3 times a week?

He's a guy and wants to reclaim what he feels is his: you. All males are driven by biology to stake a claim to their mates, especially when there has been another stallion in the paddock (excuse the Col. Sherman Potter colloquialism).

No he got this way before learning i had cheated...he just did not admit it until after DD I knew it was true because he had changed 2 weeks before learning I cheated.

He just did not say anything until DD

he said he did not act on it due to no condoms

[This message edited by PAMom45 at 6:07 PM, March 19th (Tuesday)]

The two of you need to figure out how to communicate better.

And right now his head is a bag of cats, it sounds like. Nothing he does will make much sense.

[This message edited by LivingWithPain at 4:28 PM, March 20th (Wednesday)]

I echo the previous question. Why do you want to be with this man? You are clearly resentful. That is never going to work for a foundation in reconciling yourself, let alone the marriage. Every thread has pointed to where your husband has failed at being the man you want him to be. You can't control him or make him heal, let alone change.

hi PA!

what do you want?